DECEMBER
"We're the next Furby!" laughs Professor Vector, walking in the new Hector Labs with a Toys R Us catalog in his hands. On the front was the increasingly popular Shen Phone and Friend, and it wasn't alone. Boxes of Shens were all over the much larger laboratory, with labels to ship all across the country. Professor Hector was sitting at a workbench, a Shen prototype lying open for inspection.
"Well, I don't think we are quite Furby, that's quite a landmark to hit. We definitely haven't hit Tickle-Me-Elmo levels," Professor Hector says bashfully, turning away from his work towards his excited assistant.
"Yeah, well, the numbers came in from Black Friday and Cyber Monday, and we're at least the hit toy of the season! Those harpies over at Good Morning America called up and want us to send 'em a few so they can gawk at them in front of the whole country." Vector says, throwing down the catalog and lighting up a cigarette. Hector chose to ignore it for now, if only to address other matters.
"Even when you're happy you're rude, huh?" Hector says, mood dampened a bit by Vector's consistent negative attitude.
"You act like you don't know me doc. Oh shit, right, no smoking around them. Last thing we need is more moms complaining about Billy's toy smelling like ash." Vector says, looking for a place to snuff out his cigarette before finally settling on cracking open the door and flicking it outside.
"More mothers complaining?" Hector asks.
"Well, not mothers, but yeah, we're getting lots of feedback about a high-pitch whine from the Shen products. Lots of electronics do that these days so I don't see the trouble."
"Hmmm... Well I don't hear anything!" Hector says, turning back to the table.
"Well, that's because you got more hair than wax in your ears Hector. Anyway, not worth messing with the product. Just gotta pump out more of those little ugly things and-"
"I thought you liked the design! You even said they were cute!" Hector says, mustache drooping like a big frown.
"Yeah, yeah, marketable "cute". All I know is I wouldn't want one of those near my kids if I had any."
"Well I think they are adorable," Hector says, turning back to his desk and bringing the prototype Shen to life. The little robot waddled over to Hector, grasping his finger in a soft hug.
"Oh god... Are you using the Shen too?" Vector asks.
"Well... Yeah! I need a phone, and why not? I've been using one of the prototypes for ages. Phones are so impersonal, even when someone else is on the line, I just thought-"
"Yeah well, I'm glad I've been taking our calls... Wait. That's it! That's the next step!"
"Wha-?" Hector yawned, his eyes drooping as he tries to continue to pay attention.
"Old people! Old people love- wake up old man, this is important!"
"Uwaah? Yeah yeah, I'm listening." Hector says.
"Yeah, so, elderly folks are all disabled and stuff and too tired" Vector says, narrowing his eyes at Hector as he says it, "to do lots of stuff on their own. They need care people or those weird care robots like them VGC-whatchamacallits"
"Yeah, like the one you almost got for us!" Hector beams, recalling the simple and functional design of the VGC-60L. It was not unlike something he'd invent...
"Yeah, yeah, anyway, we make Shens, but not as doofy looking. More like medical robots, so they could be old people's phones and they could have some basic caregiving crap in them too, like calling hospitals if the coot has a heart attack or maybe some maid functions little phone sized things can do like..."
"Like brushing teeth!" Hector adds, his sleepiness gone now that brainstorming has him excited.
"Er.... maybe not something so intimate, don't want some grandma filing suit when Shen 2.0 rips her dentures out trying to brush them."
"Medicine! Administering medicine, such as an injection or, OR! Monitoring blood glucose, for diabetes! Ohhhh, I could really use that! I always wished my insulin pump could be more friendly!" Hector says, pulling up his shirt to grasp at the pump as if merely willing it to be nice would turn it into a Shen-like product.
"That's the ticket! But... But but but. Before we get carried away, we need more investors! We'll need marketing for late night History Channel ads. Shen was a stroke of luck but kids will buy anything. Old people, now, that's an uphill battle. Getting old people to LIKE technology? Now that's a war!"
"If you say so... I like technology." Hector weakly adds.
"Right, but some people are set in their ways, capiche? So, we need financial backing! Time to shmooze it with the rich folk!" Vector says, slamming his fist into his palm dramatically. The Shen near Hector jumped in response."...They shouldn't be reacting to loud sounds like that doc."
"Don't worry, it's just the prototype, we worked out the kinks, remember?" Hector says, standing up and grabbing Vector in a side-hug jollily.
Throughout December, the shmoozing began... and fell flat. Although Shen's reputation grew, the inventors behind the piece began to build up a bad reputation. Vector made many an enemy trying to shove the new investment idea down people's throats, and many people took Hector's narcolepsy as an insult, thinking he was dramatizing how bored he was with the conversation. Soon, interested parties wouldn't even return phone calls or would specifically avoid them, and as December came to an end, very few investors had invested in Shen 2.0.
Vector sighed, "Well, that well ran dry way quicker than I thought..." The angry professor kicked some scrap as he prepared to light another cigarette.
"It's not all bad! We got some people... But even ROB's history and Shen's current craze can't beat well..." Hector trailed off, not wishing to blame either of them for their abysmal people skills.
"Yeah yeah, so, instead of whining and pouting, what're we gonna do now for money? Put OUR profits in? Sure would suck to be back in that old lab of ours!" Vector growled, looking for more things to kick.
"Careful, careful! You'll set off the defenses. Last thing we want is MAC on your back!" Hector warned, waving his arms at Vector as his Shen phone mirrored the action.
"That's it! SELL MAC! And the other dumb robots we got laying around. We can do an auction-"
"NO." Hector says, surprisingly stern and forceful compared to his usually dopey demeanor.
"Yeesh Hector, sorry." Vector says sarcastically. "You got to learn to let go of them some day-"
"Robots... are more than the sum of their parts, Vector." Hector says, sinking down into a chair and letting his Shen play with his finger.
"Fine. Fine. So, what's your idea, Einstein?"
"...I heard... well, remember, the King of Beasts?" Hector asks.
"I try not to. My nose still hurts whenever I think of that place," Vector says, rubbing his large nose as he says so.
"Well, I'm not saying we need to enter the Big Bar Brawl or anything, but... They do attract a lot of movers and shakers with heavy pockets!"
"Hector... you sly dog! You want to bleed those guys dry!" Vector laughs.
"No no no! I just mean, they are a bit abnormal, kind of like us, and we kind of have history! What is the point in having connections if you cannot rely on them sometimes?"
"Hmm...Well it's worth a shot. We moving to Manhattan then?"
"No no no! See, this is the best part! I set up our new lab in Las Vegas for a reason! They are coming HERE." Hector beams.
"I thought it was just cuz you liked the slots. But alright. We'll try it. Can't hurt after all. We hit up those psychos and killers and some throw us some cash if we're lucky. Maybe I can get some reparations from that guy who electrocuted you." Vector says.
"They are not all bad Vector. So please, behave yourself."
"Only if you stay awake while we chat with them." Vector snorts.
And so, Professors Hector and Vector bided their time. They weren't completely sedentary, beginning early prototyping and planning on Shen 2.0, writing appropriate programming, starting a Kickstarter but not getting the funding, and still finding any ear willing to hear them out on investing, but they knew their greatest chance for continuing the Hector Labs brand would come in May, when the Kobbers came to town.
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