Jumpropeman's Top 10 Favorite Pokemon!

Now that you've seen the Pokemon that have Bugged me, how about the Pokemon that I love? This list was much harder to compile with the last one, and at some point I had to whittle down a group of over 30 Pokemon down to only the gems. A lot of them I realized I only loved MY version of that Pokemon, so Pokemon like Banette and Lunatone sadly don't make the list. This time around though we have pokemon representing every generation and an unusual trend towards a single type that I've always been rather neutral on. I'm gonna pluck the most interesting Pokedex entry I can for each one to make it a bit more interesting. Here are my top 10 favorite Pokemon!


Number 10 is, in my opinion, the most badass Pokemon ever.

Now, who might you guess is the most badass Pokemon? Charizard? Garchomp? Mewtwo? Aggron?

You're wrong. Dead wrong.

Anyone can be a badass if you give them the keys to the armory. The typical "cool" Pokemon are all overpowered dragons or bulky heavyweights who were blessed with high stats and punching power. These Pokemon were blessed with strength, but the biggest badass are the normal guys who can turn into furious wrecking machines without spending twenty years at the gym eating eggs during breaks between reps.

The most badass Pokemon is...

10: Fearow

Yes, Fearow is Pokemon's hardest mo-fo because it is not a dragon, because it doesn't need a crutch like the Steel type or some ability that will make it a nuisance to all who fight it. It is a badass because it just doesn't give a damn about those kind of things.

Fearow took a look at the first generation pokedex and said Pidgey just ain't cutting it. Look at Pidgeot's hair, it's like a freaking supermodel! Born a Spearow, it ran around the grass patches being a dick to anyone who walked into it. It's rude, it's crude, and it had no niche so it just went around to pick on everyone else. When it finally became a Fearow, it became a big ol' Anhinga of Anguish.

Fearow isn't trying to be pretty, it's trying to strike fear in your heart. It's a humongous bird that looks like it would take of with your car if anyone actually drove them in Pokemon instead of parking them on top of Mew.

The best thing about Fearow is it is a Pokemon that doesn't back down. It doesn't care what you throw at it, it's gonna fight it. You find it below cycling road? It will gladly take on that starter you overlevelled while ignoring the rest of your team. Notice all the bikers around there who won't move except from a tiny area? They know Fearow is waiting for them to beat their Koffing and steal their bike.

Trying to train a Fearow? Good luck! Ever seen a Fearow look happy? No? Didn't think so. Charizard was even tamed by Ash eventually, giving goofy smiles in that cool opening pan of the Unova episodes. Fearow is ready to fight and it just needs a direction to do it in. Your job as a trainer is to point it in the right direction and hope for the best.

Fearow is not afraid to go crazy either. It can use both Drill Peck and Drill Run, which means it is spinning its beak fast enough to bore through your body. I can only imagine it doing some sort of awesome aerial corkscrew to pull that off. If this bird had been introduced in Gen II or later, it would probably be Dark/Flying, because I've never seen a bird so devoted to murder.

Pokedex: "It shoots itself suddenly high into the sky, then plummets down in one fell swoop to strike its prey."

I could gush about how Fearow is superior to the other fully evolved Pokemon who are bulging from steroid abuse, but Fearow is only number 10.

9: Alakazam

  I said that I ignored some Pokemon when making this list because I only liked them because I trained an exceptional instance of their species. Alakazam might have fallen into the category too, but that training I had with him opened my eyes to how awesome he really is. Alakazam was part of my Leaf Green party, the party that really pulled me back into Pokemon after I waned during the Ruby/Sapphire times.

Snorlax, Blastoise, Lickitung, Dugtrio, Raichu, and Alakazam were my dudes, but Alakazam stood out as the team's true hero. When I would double battle with my brother, Alakazam was his most feared Pokemon, and for good reason. A fast Special striker, Alakazam would Psychic his Pokemon before they could touch his low defense. Alakazam earned a spot in my heart as my brother's worst nightmare (he still hangs around on my team sometimes now when we battle, but he is not the powerhouse or nightmare he once was back in the day).

There are other reasons I like him too! I swear! He is the embodiment of mind over matter, being a counterpart of Machamp and kicking it's butt whenever they battle. Alakazam is essentially the embodiment of intelligence, having a ridiculous IQ according to the Pokedex and the ability to outthink a computer. Too bad he can only say Alakazam (in an awesome voice in the anime by the way). Surprisingly, Slowking can speak, but one of the smartest Psychic types won't bother with telepathy...

Or maybe it thinks we just aren't worth talking too?

Alakazam also has an imaginative design. A Fox like head with a human body and brown body armor with a kicking mustache. It's hard to describe accurately but it gives a definitive look for sure. And the spoon gimmick is cute, they are supposedly psychic constructs though according to pokedex entries so bending them with his mind is kind of cheating.

One day I hope I can have a mustache as great as his.

Pokedex: Alakazam's brain continually grows, infinitely multiplying brain cells. This amazing brain gives this Pokémon an astoundingly high IQ of 5,000. It has a thorough memory of everything that has occurred in the world.

It's time for us to move out of Generation one. So far that type trend I've mentioned hasn't shown its face, but once we get roaring you'll see it for sure. The next pokemon is the only legendary to make the list. Say hello to...


8: Entei

Sprites do not do this majestic beast justice. Entei is an fantastic looking creature, embodying what I would imagine if I was told a legend of a fantastic beast.  Other legendaries may look big or strong, but they lack the gravitas of a beast spoken of legend. Dialga and Palkia look more like speculation from the future instead of a legend of the past, the birds are cool but not the thing I would hear told to children at night.

Entei outshines the weird faced Suicune and the busy Raikou designs, and it has the best starring role in an anime film by far. Even though it is a dream construct of the Unown, it has a character that is motivated by good intentions but still conflicts with the interests of the world. Mewtwo was chaotic, but Entei just wanted to give his "daughter" whatever she wished for. Pokemon 3 is my favorite Pokemon movie for this very reason.

Entei also has the distinction of being the only legendary I've trained to level 100. My brother and I don't use legendaries in battles and I often find their overpowering strength boring in battle, but Entei got to shine because of Pokemon Collosseum. I don't know why or how, but it ended up in my team rocking the casbah and ruling the continent of Orre.

Entei is an objectively fantastic looking creature. Why else do you think webcomics choose Entei for the "Run Away while asleep" comics instead of its counterparts? Entei has the strength and look of a mythical creature, and seeing him do dumb things is funny because of it! Entei would also be pretty awesome to ride around.

It is also apparently able to cause natural disasters just by barking. Just think: Every time you send it out in battle, you are causing a volcano somewhere else in the world, likely ruining the lives of a Pacific Island's inhabitants.

Pokedex: "Volcanoes erupt when it barks. Unable to restrain its extreme power, it races headlong around the land."

So far we've seen a bird that would bite your head off, a magician with a magnificent mind, and a burly beast of... books? Legends are in books some times. But now we move into softer material, the Pokemon are gonna get cute now!

7: Meganium

 
For some reason, the only fire starter I've ever picked and used throughout the game is Torchic. I don't know why. I'm trying a Heart Gold run with Typhlosion right now, but the fire types have never appealed to me a lot. The water starters were pretty cool at first, with Feraligatr and Blastoise both getting much love from me. But it's the grass starters I seem to gravitate towards. I don't care much for Venusaur, Torterra is cool in a weird "aloof" way. Serperior has a majestic look, like a Queen, and Snivy almost fell on my list because of how awesome it is in Pokepark 2. Sceptile was my starter in Ruby, but I am purposely ignoring a certain Pokemon here.

Meganium, the first serene starter.

Blastoise has huge cannons, Venusaur looks like a goth drug user with bad acne, Charizard is a roaring dragon, Typhlosion is a pissed badger, and Feraligatr is a fat gator, but Meganium is a sweet creature. A small little brontosaur, Meganium and its line aren't battlers so much as a Pokemon that might fall asleep in the grass with you.

In fact, it's accepted that Meganium actually HAS a true calming effect. It's pokedex entries speak of calming aromas and breath that can revive dead plants. A true gardener's friend, and a a psychologist's too! I don't get angry. I get bothered and annoyed, but never pissed off. When people around me start steaming I feel like we are just wasting valuable time worrying about something that will be resolved later when they calm down. If I had a Meganium around, I'd just shove it up their nose and we could move on with our lives.

Meganium still seems to be the only end form for a starter that focuses on sweetness rather than something like strength or power. Even Serperior has an air of royalty and pretentiousness that defeats the beauty of the creature, but Meganium seems like a sweetheart. It's a bit like those loyal female dogs that don't bark a lot. I had a dog named Satin like that, maybe that's why I like Meganium. That's a very primitive psychological explanation that a book might use, but I think I just prefer serene behavior over any other type since I don't live life for crazy emotional roller coasters, I just like the moments when things are calm and cool.

Pokedex: "The aroma that rises from its petals contains a substance that calms aggressive feelings."

Meganium is my favorite final form starter for sure, and training it felt contrary to its nature. It's the only other Pokemon on this list I've trained to 100, but a later one gets out on a technicality. But we can't be held up on this calm beauty forever, we have to move on a Pokemon even more beautiful.... 

6: Shuckle

 Alright, okay, Shuckle actually isn't that great looking. It's like a worm thing in a mushroom patterned rock that can't do much of anything. It's a defensive Pokemon, meaning normal play through a game with it is a drag. It almost feels like it was added because of its association with berry juice. All its pokedex entries mention berries in its shell becoming the useless item berry juice. It's worse than a Sitrus berry and the only cool effect it had (having Shuckle hold it hardened it into a rare candy) was removed when the third generation came around.

So why do I like this Bug in a Rock?

Because its goofy.

It's goofy as all hell.

It's like a Pokemon a kid made. It doesn't look like something from a series devoted to beasts battling each other. It looks like something better fit for an Animal Crossing kind of game. You might find it in the garden munching on a plant and you have to play a minigame to get it to leave. People like Magikarp because its so dumb, but it becomes Gyarados so its more of an Ugly Duckling situation. Shuckle just lays around and lets you slowly chip away at its health while it vainly attacks you. It's adorable when an AI trainer uses one, because you know you won't be missing much health when its over.

What is interesting is that apparently this bug has acid secreting arms. Look at the pokedex entry

Pokedex: "The fluid secreted by its toes carves holes in rocks for nesting and can be mixed with Berries to make a drink."

It can burn holes in rock, but an Igglybuff's doubleslap will do more damage than anything Shuckle can do... Unless it uses Power Trick. Then you are straight up doomed.

"A level 100 Shuckle can potentially deal the most damage in one single attack through the use of numerous stat boosters; by receiving the effects of Helping Hand from two allies in a triple battle, holding a Metronome, Power Trick, a Skill Swap to Pure Power, and 6 Attack boosts. Also, both of Shuckle's partners must have the Ability Flower Gift and the weather must be sunny. On the 5th turn of using a Defense Curl boosted Rollout consecutively without any misses, if used against a level 1 Ledyba, Yanma or Combee with minimum Defense stats, that have been hit with negative Defense modifiers (such as Screech), it can deal 481,266,000 damage with a critical hit."

One of the goofiest Pokemon in the game is also capable of doing the most damage out of any creature in the Pokemon World. Take that Arceus!

Speaking of goofy pokemon...

5: Bidoof

   What did 15 year old Jumpropeman do with his time?

Waste it on dumb stuff like this:

I don't recall what went through my head when I made that, but I was a young boy who finally had the ability to make Youtube videos.

Even then though I realized the greatness that is Bidoof. It stands out amongst all other Region Rats because of its goofy face and goofy name. BiDOOF. As in doofus. As in even Nintendo realized it looks dim witted. Bidoof is adorably dumb, and whereas many people won't shut up about Joey's Top Percentage Rattata, I believe Bidoof is in the top percentage of Pokemon. If I could make one Pokemon real, it might be this guy, because he'd be simple to take care of (he's like a beaver rat) and tiny enough to handle. Rhydon or some other beast would run off and get killed by the military. At worst I'd have to explain to a neighbor what is chewing on their fence posts.

This cutie pie was overabundant in Sinnoh but now in Black and White I can't help but miss the little critter. My brother once caught 6 of them and named them "Kenan" "Kel" "Ah" "Here" "It" "Goes!" and went online in Pokemon Battle Revolution to battle with them. He never attacked his opponent, they just tackled each other the whole time. Somehow a level 100 Garchomp couldn't kill one of the Bidoof in one hit with flamethrower, which had to be the most pathetic seen I've seen in a pokemon battle.

Bidoof is a great butt to jokes, but it's never been jokes with malice. He is too cute for negativity! He's a goofy joke and my favorite Region Rat. He broke the mold of stagnation that such a role has (even though Patrat fixed it for the next game) and the great fan works devoted to him has only made me love him more.

Pokedex: "With nerves of steel, nothing can perturb it. It is more agile and active than it appears."

I had no idea Bidoof was a stone cold badass as well! You can't phase this little beaver apparently. Even though in the anime episode I saw with it had them hiding from a Steelix half of the episode. I guess Steel nerves aren't very effective against Steel types.

Also, it evolves into Bibarel, a (near) perfect HM whore. Not as good as that Shiny Dragonite I got off GTS. Dragonite can surf, fly, use strength... He's the perfect HM whore. It just happens to be shiny because GTS is strange.

Anyway, Dragonite is not one of my favorite Pokemon! I don't care about shinies I get in trades, only the two legitimate ones I caught (A Sandshrew and Golbat, now fully evolved and level 100 each with little stories behind their discoveries and everything...) Let's move on from Bidoof, since sometimes love is hard to explain, and it would just me be saying "Ain't he funny looking" if I went on.

4: Turtwig

 "What? Jumpropeman! You said Meganium was your favorite starter!"

No no no sir, I mislead you! I said it was my favorite fully evolved starter! It even said I didn't train anyone to level 100 after Meganium because this fellow evolved into a Pokemon who is now level 100. What a pointless trick that probably didn't surprise you because you forgot about it already!

Turtwig and Piplup really got starter pokemon aesthetics down in Generation 4, but at least Turtwig isn't destined for weird head/neck antics in Prinplup (although Grotle isn't too handsome itself). Turtwig's an adorable turtle that even passes up Squirtle in cuteness do to the more turtle like look and the beak-like smile. Turtwig is a cheery little fellow with a cute voice. I don't even know the proper words to describe the voice it has. Like a kid imitating a forty year old southerner I guess.

Also, a long time ago, your good friend Jumpropeman had a little problem. I was a shoplifter! I eventually did get caught with no charges filed for some reason but I stopped after that. BEFORE that though, I got a lot of stuff, and one thing I shoplifted was a Turtwig plush. Its nose was a bit pressed but it quickly became a favorite plush of mine and even earned the nickname Turtwitty from someone who saw it. When I started Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, I picked Turtwig and named myself Turtwitty after that little plush.

Turtwig may have fallen into the "Stick something on its body to indicate its type" folly with its head leaf, but Charmander pulled it off with the fire tail so its not like its a death sentence. Turtwig is just one of those Pokemon who looks nice and fell into my heart that way. Through plush and dungeon crawling, he secured his spot, and even though the only game one I had is now a level 100 Torterra, I still remember the days when he would trounce wild Bidoof for easy experience.

Sadly, it's pokedex entries are kind of boring. Three of them are identical, and they all talk about its moist shell...

Pokedex: "The shell on its back is made of soil. On a very healthy Turtwig, the shell should feel moist."

By the way, having an Earth turtle was a great idea, and I enjoyed that Gen 4 gave all the final forms of the starters a second type. Even if one of them was the dreaded Fire/Fighting.

Let's move on though. So far we've had two grass Pokemon, so let's move on to another type...


Hold on! Who is that beautiful flower?

3: Lilligant

  In my opinion, Lilligant is the most beautiful Pokemon. It has that serene aspect that made me love Meganium, a feminine look that Beauty almost demands, and a wonderful flower on type of the calm looking Queen of Chlorophyll. I seem to like the Pokemon that are just happy little flowers. This is the Pokemon Bob Ross would draw if he got the chance to make one.

Look at her! Just bouncing in place with its hands crossed like a cutie pie!

Yes, I am a 21 year old man gushing over how cute a pokemon is.

Unlike Gardevoir whose admiration from the community has reached creepy levels, Lilligant seems to be free from the clutches of such perversion. She is just a pretty Pokemon with a cheery air. She, like Meganium, doesn't seem to fit into a world of fighters, and what do you know!

Pokedex: "The fragrance of the garland on its head has a relaxing effect, but taking care of it is very difficult."

It's flower has that same calming effect! I guess I like calm flowers or something, because they have me in their trance!

 The happy and friendly and lovely design is the main reason I love Lilligant. Petilil is boring in appearance so it made its evolution an even sweeter breath of fresh air. I can't say I have any other experiences with it besides thinking "That pokemon looks swell!" but it's got to be the Pokemon I consider the best visually. Hopefully at some point I will have more legitimate reasons to like it, but with a cute image like that how can I not adore it?

I wonder if there is a good Lilligant wallpaper out there...

Now, wrapping up Lilligant, let's move on...

Last picture of her, I promise! Just look at her though! Gooper has Sarah, can't you let me have Lilligant?

Seriously moving on this time, we move onto the final two. Expecting another grass type?

Too bad!

2: Xatu

You might wonder why I would like a Pokemon who looks like it is flashing you half the time

 Besides the crotch face (that they thankfully toned down to look less a Sceptile head), Xatu has a very mystical air behind it. The connections to Native American imagery and a calm bird face hides the turmoil that every Xatu must deal with every day. It's mystical powers have even lead to people in South America to spread rumors about its even though South America doesn't exist in the Pokemon World. What I like about Xatu is this:

Pokedex: "They say that it stays still and quiet because it is seeing both the past and future at the same time."

If you couldn't tell from the Time Spirit I RPed in Zoofights, I like the idea of time. I don't like fudging with it so much in fiction and even as JRM I tried to keep it to a low, but knowledge of the past or future can lead to interesting situations. Xatu sees all of time and knows what has happened and will happen to everything around it. It is burdened with so much information, but it keeps calm and doesn't do any of that dumb "I must prevent the future!" jazz fictional characters do.

Xatu's appearance and subject matter make it cool enough, and since Psychic Pokemon also fall under my favorite types quite often, Xatu is a great combination! And it's the only Pokemon whose name starts with an X!

Like Turtwig, Xatu has a story behind it. Back when young Jumpropeman was lying in bed at night, he got bored. Pulling some stuffed animals near him, he decided to play a fake Pokemon game, but he had no Pokemon plushes! Luckily, the animals on the bed had Pokemon equivalents. Among them was a frog, a crocodile, a parrot, and some others I don't remember. For some reason I decided to make them not just Pokemon, but ancient fantastic Pokemon akin to legendaries.

The frog became Great Politoed, the crocodile Great Feraligatr, but the parrot was the one that clicked the most. It was a hand puppet kind of stuffed animal that could fold its wings across its chest. It was Great Xatu. I don't remember any of the play I did, but I remember those names, because when I found my first pokemon forum I would get involved in (I believed it was on a place called Cheat Planet) I wanted to think up a good name. These were pre-Jumpropeman days so I went with Great Xatu.

That was my go to internet name for quite a while but it died out eventually. I got into Pokemon Sprite Mutation for a while and followed it to a forum called PMF Inc., but some time in 2007 I completely gave up on it. Even before than I believe, I just no my last log in was in 2007 there.

Even though I never became attached to jump ropes because I am named after them, being named after Xatu in a Pokemon forum lead to people mentioning him a lot and I quickly grew to like his appearance and theme more. It's not outstanding battlewise, but it could look pretty creepy in a Pokemon horror movie blankly staring at you, an ominous bird who knows exactly what your fate will be and is watching in anticipation of it.

There was also a crazy episode where Xatu was pretty much Jack on the Space Titanic for a bit. The anime has some pretty awesome moments.

Now then, we are down to the wire!

Who could be Jumpropeman's favorite Pokemon?

Exeggcute?

Smoochum?

Silcoon?

STARAVIA?

DUCKLETT?

NO!

My favorite Pokemon is...

1: JUMPLUFF

Pokedex: "Even in the fiercest wind, it can control its fluff to make its way to any place in the world it wants."

Yes, we are rounding off with Grass/Flying, the two most common types in this list, even though I've never really liked the types themselves, they just end up making great Pokemon!

What is so great about Jumpluff? See Lilligant, replace all instances of beautiful with adorable, and you have your answer. It's a ball of fluffy fun that probably a soft cuddly friend to have by your side. An innocuous name and family line and a design that was made to make you go "awwww", Jumpluff wheedled its way into my heart without me even noticing. Just one day I realized it was my favorite and no one has wrassled that titled away from Jumpluff yet.

My first exposure to Jumpluff was not pretty. Whoever worked with Beckett Pokemon Collector to reveal the second generation sure drew the ugliest art they could for it.

There it is, right in the middle, looking like a fat water type Pokemon with bubbles on its arms and weird eyebrows. The other Pokemon were pretty ugly in Beckett too, but Jumpluff was definitely done the most disservice. They turned the cutest Pokemon into a bubbly blob!

Either way, it was a pleasant surprise when it turned out not to be ugly. To be fair, it's Gold/Silver sprite does look like a bubble beast, but the official art made it clear it was cute!

It also has a great shiny form. I saw a shiny Jumpluff on another person's Pokemon Ranch (yes, I have that Wiiware game, and somehow got hours of play out of it) and I was so jealous of that pink puffball of joy! It was like a cotton-bearing Kirby.

Much like Lilligant, the reasons don't go too deep beyond a cute Pokemon, but it's a Pokemon who has burrowed into my heart and decided to make it its lifelong residence. Maybe you were expecting more of a climax, some grand Pokemon that you totally didn't see coming or maybe some sort of prediction about one of the "cooler" pokemon. But nope, you get Jumpluff.

And it couldn't be happier to see you!

So that was the end of my favorite list! Hopefully the overly mushy descriptions made up for any negativity in the "Top 10 Worst Pokemon" post. Now excuse me, I do believe I have a Lilligant wallpaper hunt to begin (I had to replace my Jumpluff wallpaper sometime, right?)

Jumpropeman's Top 10 Least Favorite Pokemon

Seeing Steel Komodo post his Top 11 Favorite Pokemon and seeing the video Jwittz posted yesterday on is Youtube channel about his Top 10 Worst Pokemon, the temptation to Mimic these fellows and their format is overwhelming. I have been playing Pokemon since Red and Blue, and I've always liked the direction pokemon is heading. The second generation is my favorite, but the addition of abilities and double battles made pokemon so much better than it had been in that generation. Overall, I like most every Pokemon, and making a top 10 favorite list would be pretty hard, but there are a few Pokemon who have bothered me since their inclusion in the ranks. Since they are the exception, I decided I'd make a list of these bothersome blokes rather than try to determine my top 10 favorites.

Interestingly enough, there are no Pokemon on this list from Generation 1. Perhaps its because they've had so long to stew in my mind that it's hard to dislike them too much, and old Pokemon like Tangela I didn't like got evolutions and generally outdone in badness by later generations. Let's get this show on the road though!

10: Togetic

When the second Generation of Pokemon was making its first gradual steps out of the gate, we were treated to a mystery egg that hatched into a strange new Pokemon called Togepi. Togepi was another one of the cute Pokemon like Jigglypuff and Clefairy, but it had a little shell on its butt to add an egg theme. It seemed obvious this little fellow would evolve, but would it become?

This. It became this.

 Togetic looks like a Pokemon I would have drawn back I thought a circle with spikes on it would make a good Pokemon. You can call Voltorb lazy or Diglett unimaginative, but Togetic doesn't even seem to know what it wants to be. The eggshell fused with its butt I guess,  and its body became the first shape that Ken Sugimori drew when he lazily dragged a pencil across the paper. Such an underwhelming evolution with nothing special to set it apart led me and virtually everyone I knew to ignore this little guy when it came time to train your team. Thank goodness that Togetic eventually got an evolution that saved the family line. Even though Togekiss has a few design issues itself, it looks like what Togepi should have ended on. I even trained a Togekiss to Level 100 because it can actually do stuff, evolving Togetic the moment Togepi evolved into it. Ultimately, Togetic is a useless and ugly blemish on the cute Toge- line. Try harder next time when you think up evolutions, Game Freak.

9: Krokorok

Digimon! Digital Monsters! Digimon are the Champions!

It's common to call a new Pokemon a Digimon. It's usually leveraged towards Pokemon who seem over-designed or overtly humanoid, but usually once the generation has time to sink into the fans' minds, we all stop complaining and realize they do fit in with the rest of the club.

Krokorok, on the other hand, still looks like a Rookie Digimon, or perhaps one of those Gatomon-type Champions who might as well be Rookies. It's two legged posture, "attitude" and general appearance would make it fit in easily Agumon and Gabumon. Sandile does not look bad at all, and Krookodile at least tries to look like something that might hang with Feraligatr, but Krokorok looks like it might walk up to you and start telling you to stop interfering with Etemon's Secret Plan.

Maybe if it would uncross those arms in its sprites and artwork. Even then, in Pokepark 2 and other appearances he still feels like he is a crossover character that the fan-fictions of Digimon meets Pokemon might create: the in between character who is both Digimon and Pokemon.

Not to mention his ugly ass shiny form.

Looks like he's some sort of ice cream with that coloration (and by the way, there is nothing wrong with an Ice Cream Pokemon like Vanillish, they are different ideas that work much better than 90s Croc with attitude! Fetch this guy some sneakers and give him a Sega Genesis game!)

8: Vullaby

Take solace in knowing that if a Mandibuzz kills you, its babies will probably be pooping in your skull,

When I first saw Vullaby, that skull diaper didn't register completely. I thought it was an eggshell diaper that had a heart on it for no reason. I thought it was a more bird-like Togepi that went horribly wrong. After finding out it was a skull, I didn't dislike Vullaby as much, but it is still an ugly little chick who takes it sweet time doing anything. What level do you think a chick like this would evolve? 20? 32 at most? Try 54. Over half its life this thing is sitting around being an ugly down-covered baby while Gabite has already been Garchomp for 6 levels. I understand it has to do with Vullaby being found late in the game, but this ruins any future games where they could have made Vullaby available early. Pokemon like Baltoy were available early in XD, but Vullaby would take forever to take off it you caught it at level 18.

The pink headed, martial-arts ponytail sporting, ruffly necked chick evolves into a half-decent vulture, but I'm glad I picked Pokemon White. Rufflet ain't too pretty either, but at least it doesn't have a diaper. It's like a Warhammer parody: "I SHALL WEAR MY ENEMY'S SKULL AS PAMPERS!" Although I have to admit, Vullaby has a lot better brattitude than Krokorok:

This chick is the reason I'll probably never train a Mandibuzz.

7: Mienfoo

 Mienfoo is another Pokemon that I dislike mainly because of its terrible design. Someone decided we needed a fighting type weasel, and this odd creature was born from that terrible idea. It's arm fat looks like sleeves and it's body has a skin flap to imitate clothes, which might work on humanoid pokemon like Hitmonchan, but on a mustelid it looks like a child pulling random clothes out and trying them on. Those two black dots on its head (eyebrows? Hope not) don't help it, they actually hurt it if anything. Without them it would look simple, which is forgivable for an unevolved Pokemon. Instead, look at this dumbass pic

Without those enormous black orbs it would look so much better. I thought it was dancing at first or teetering from confusion but that is its fighting pose. It is kicking. It has its hands out like someone doing the first part of the chicken dance. Mienfoo also has an interesting dichotomy with its evolved form. Whereas Magikarp and Feebas are meant to be ugly in comparison to their evolved forms, I think Mienfoo just IS ugly in comparison to the much more interesting Mienshao.

Hey Mienfoo, did your ugly black dots fuse into that purple dot? No? Then why do you have them!? Mienshao would have been better off a single evolution Pokemon. Mienfoo looks like a failed baby Pokemon. It looks like what you'd design if you only heard what Mienshao looked like and had no idea what color palette the evolution was. Mienfoo is a late bloomer like Vullaby as well, but its not as bothersome because besides winning beauty contests, Mienshao doesn't have much going for it. Mienfoo, you are worthless and ugly, go hide in the oubliette beneath the house and stop showing up in all of the damn caves. You're like a worse Zubat, because at least Crobat is awesome enough to offset the annoying first form.

6: Pidove

 I've accepted that every region will have a Region Rat, a Tiny Bird, and an Electric Rodent. Some are uninteresting (Patrat) some are useless (Pachirisu), some are bland (Starly, Staraptor rocks though) and some are forgettable (Sentret). None of them have bothered me as much as this Pigeon here. A boring name, a boring look, and a forgettable evolution line makes me fear for the future of the Tiny Birds. Besides that heart like plumage on its front, it's pretty much a cartoon pigeon. If I saw this thing in a chibi-anime I wouldn't bat an eye.

Unfezant isn't a bad Pokemon, it's just a bit boring. Tranquill and Staravia both fail to do anything besides annoy me as I search routes for new Pokemon, and Pidove... just kinda IS. It didn't stick out in Pokemon White/Black or their sequel, and even in the anime it was more of a tool for Ash than a character. Pidove is so boring and bland that I can't even come up with interesting issues with it. I hope they choose more interesting birds for the next generations, because this little plain thing falls to the wayside in a series with so many interesting creatures.

5: Volbeat

Fat, ugly, useless, outdone by its counterpart in appearance and design, and having a unique move it can't utilize because it's about as strong as a Wailmer. Tail Glow only gives you more light to see how terrible this bug type pokemon really is.

An ugly nose, terrible looking antennae, and a collar that might have worked if it had a better face to wrap around, Volbeat is one of the many Pokemon in Ruby and Sapphire that formed an unnecessary unevolving duo. Plusle and Minun were in this group too, but they were cute enough and did enough in the anime to justify their existence. A firefly Pokemon is interesting in theory: a bug type with good special attack that isn't a butterfly or has a secondary type (unless its made a literal FIRE fly). Instead, we got two stunted creatures that can only really handle Pokemon lower leveled than they are. If I fight a trainer with Volbeat, I am thankful for the free experience.

Sadly, because of its dichotomy with Illumise, these two fireflies will probably never evolve, meaning we'll always have to live in a world where this fat thing teeters about looking for a place in a world that doesn't need it. Even Spinda is more interesting because of its gimmick and just how unusual it is. Volbeat's purpose? Being number 313 in your Pokedex. You have to catch him to catch 'em all! Sorry!

4: Shaymin (Sky Forme only)

 The worst gimmick in all of Pokemon: Formes.

Sure, Unown had many shapes, and Shaymin was not the first to introduce Formes, but boy did it make them annoying. Shaymin was a cute little hedgehog who was just being its adorable self when someone decided it should be some sort of deer/dog. Giratina an Deoxys looked on in horror as a Pokemon who had no business transforming like they did become what would have been an evolution had it not already been decided Shaymin was legendary. Now it was flying, because ears as wings doesn't look dumb as hell.

As a hedgehog it was cute and cuddly, but now its essentially been infused with Rainbow Dash's attitude and an ugly smirk that completely killed the Serene look Shayming had. And because Sky Forme was marketed as a way to drum up interest in Platinum, we probably won't see normal Shaymin in anything anymore. Its been supplanted by this boring thing.

What's worse, in the Pokemon movie about Shaymin, it fell victim to Talking Movie syndrome, wherein if the Pokemon's name is in the title of the Movie, it can speak English. Mewtwo had an excuse: It was Psychic! Lugia was Psychic, Lucario barely works because Aura might as well be Psychic and probably would be if it was decided by people who weren't trying to give Lucario weird Steel/Fighting typing, but Shaymin had no reason to speak. It was a grass hedgehog, but they gave it a voice. I'm not even surprised when I hear Zorua or Keldeo speaking anymore because Shaymin ruined it. It didn't help it became an anorexic fox by the time the movie was over either.

Shaymin Sky Forme is also part of the ugly trend Pokemon is rocketing towards. Buying Diamond or Pearl isn't important when all those Legendaries will be getting new and better forms in Platinum. Black and White 2 both have better Kyurem and Keldeo Formes, making their counterparts in the earlier versions pointless by comparison. It's gimmicky and it's how they try to force you to buy the new "extra" version, but you could just wait until the next real new version and those new formes are just there now. I know it won't stop, but I hope the X and Y try to dial back the Formes a little. They are getting old and have never really been interesting anyway.

3: Azurill

Marill was bound to get a baby eventually. It was the face of Generation II, everyone was going crazy about "Pikablu", and even though its family is just as underwhelming as Togepi-Togetic were back when they were introduced, they thought Marill would be better off with a baby rather than a third evolution. And that is where this miserable creature comes from:

Perpetually sad since Generation 5 (in earlier generations it was cute and smiling. I guess they wanted a baby pokemon that made you feel bad instead of going for the usual "adorable" angle. Interestingly enough, in Platinum it has a neutral mouth. Beginning of the depression?), Azurill is just a bag full of problems. It doesn't look very good, with a teardrop shaped body that does it no favors visually and a face we've seen frown way too much.  It's typing is Normal for some ungodly reason while its evolutions are pure water. There is nothing making Azurill normal that wouldn't make Marill normal as well. They both dwell in water and can use their tails as flotation devices, so why is Azumarill Normal? It still learns water moves and it sacrifices the helpful Same Type Attack Bonus for water moves that would transfer over to Marill if it evolves for a Normal type STAB it doesn't need.

In fact, you don't really NEED Azurill anyway. You have to go the extra mile to have your Marill give birth to this fellow here. You must smack some incense onto mommy or daddy, and its not even worth it to get this pointless baby. Wynaut gives Wobuffet new moves in its extremely limited movepool at least. Azurill just lays around being terrible and crying. Generation II babies had an excuse: They were essentially missing first forms that only appeared when breeding. Later generations had to justify retroactive babies and making them became harder. Azurill fails to be justified. Even in Mystery Dungeon it just caused trouble.

I know I'm picking on a baby here, one that is now always crying, but it really doesn't deserve any praise.

2: Meditite/ Medicham

 The last two entries in this list are so bad that their whole families are tainted. Meditite and Medicham are a nice and interesting concept: Mix your spokesmen for Attack (fighting) and Special Attack (Psychic) stats into one Pokemon based on meditation. Could be interesting!

Instead we get these cave dwelling, Colloseum and XD infesting monkey men creatures. Ruby, Sapphire, and the two 3D RPG GCN games were littered with these creatures, and facing them was never fun. They were decent enough to bug you but not good enough to fall on your team. Instead, every trainer included them in the 3D games and they made victory road even worse than an HM slave showcase. Their abundance made them even worse than Pokemon like Mienfoo who just failed in the design department.

It's not like they succeed in that aspect though. Meditite went with a diamond mouth, red cheeks, and ears that somehow slide around its head depending on gender even though they look like puffballs. It's an ugly little monkey that insists on sitting in a stance that leads to very ugly sprites

It looks a bit better standing, but outside of the anime and spin-offs you wouldn't know it. Even in 3D games it won't stand. If a move knocks it backwards, it will walk on its hands back to its spot with its legs behind it in some weird yoga walk.

Medicham, on the other hand, is not so fortunate. No matter its pose, its spritework, or animation styling, Medicham is ugly. Its those lips. I guess Jynx put those in a garbage bin when she picked her better set of lips and Meditite found them when he wanted to cover up his odd sometimes-diamond shaped mouth. Medicham looks pouty or sassy, and that weird headdress does not help. It looks like fish or one of those deep sea creatures that look like an alien got stuck to his head and he rolled with it. It's pale body looks like Skin from the X-men and his giant pants ruin the look of a slender person who uses kinesis to win fights rather than bulk.

This ugly family have been was my least favorite bunch up until the generation 5 pokemon were revealed. Say what you will about a garbage based Pokemon, or an ugly evolution of an old Pokemon (People say Lickilicky sucks, I say I wish I never trained a Lickitung to level 100 before gen 4 was announced), no Pokemon has been as annoying and terrible as...

1: Scraggy/Scrafty

 These hideous, disgusting, overmarketed abominations are the only Pokemon I can say that I, without a doubt, hate. Others bother me or annoy me, and every now and then my older hatred for Meditite/Medicham is dying down now that I can turn a corner and they won't be there (only for it to be rekindled by remembering how they tainted the generation that pushed me into Pokemon more than ever).

Scraggy and Scrafty took an awesome typing and flushed it down the draw with a dumb concept. Why are they dark/fighting? Dark because... baggy pants? Fighting because... they like to headbutt people? We could have had a pokemon based on a thug turn out better, but when you make a thug pokemon into a lizard who uses it own skin sheddings as its pants and hoodie you just missed your chance for awesomeness.

Let's hit things one at a time. General Appearance (Ignoring the shed skin for now): Ugliest faces in the Pokemon world. Nostrils placed in weird spots, a strange toothy grin/grimace positioned to high on the face near eyes that look bad half-closed on Scrafty but always are for some reason either out of anger or aloofness. The crest on Scrafty is needlessly enormous as well. Scraggy had trouble holding its heavy head up as it is. I'm surprised Scrafty isn't dragging that red coxcomb on the ground 24/7. The lizard like bodies aren't too bad, but that's because we are ignoring...

The Shed Skin clothes. These ugly faces would have been enough to maybe place 9th on my list, but they have a stupid gimmick about wearing their old skin as clothes. I can get over how disgusting that would be (I'm perfectly fine with Jarate in TF2 after all) but they way they use it is sickening. Scraggy has to hold his skin pants up. Understandable, since the skin is obviously too large since it contained his huge round head before. But what isn't forgivable is the little lizards insistence on pulling them up ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Up and down, up an down. It's like he's trying to wear them as a shirt as well, or he's trying to cover his naked chest but then flashing you shamelessly afterwards. That face + that animation = disgusting little reptile who doesn't deserve to live.

Not to be outdone by its unevolved form, Scrafty found new ways to be disgusting with the old skin. Scrafty's pants don't need to be held up as much, so Scrafty used his free hands to fashion a hood out of his old head skin, turning it into the most disturbing hoodie I've ever seen. It's Ed Gein level skin wearing, except he's wearing his own skin rather than someone else's. Still ugly though, despite missing the serial killing Gein required to make his stuff. You might not be bothered by that little hood dangling like a cape, but that's not what is bad about it. In the anime, you get to Scrafty pull up his hood a few time, and it ain't pretty.

It even LOOKs like old flesh made into a hoodie. Scrafty's style is sickening, and the whole dead flesh as clothes thing is best left for games that try to freak you out, not for games meant to appeal to all ages.

The last nail in the coffin for these two is the same thing that cemented Meditite and Medicham into that part of my brain where bad thoughts dwell: oversaturation. Where as the mental monkeys made their domain in every nook and cranny of the games, Scraggy and Scrafty escaped into the real world as the face of Generation 5. Ash's main Gen 5 Pokemon seems to be Scraggy, based on anime prevalence and all the merchandise someone with no taste out there must be buying. If Scraggy had just been a blemish on Generation 5, I might not have been bothered by him so much, but whenever I would look into the new Pokemon stuff Scraggy would stare back at me. I swear he knew just how much I was bothered by him, because they seemed to play Scraggy centric episodes whenever I could catch the show.

I imagine this is how people who really hate Pokemon like Jigglypuff must feel: always pursued by the face you've come to dread.

Luckily, in the games these guys are restricted to a desert you don't need to spend much time in and trainers barely use them, but Grimsley has a Scrafty so training on the Elite Four can lead to seeing Scrafty while you grind. I couldn't find an image of him doing it, but Scrafty does a weird cud-chewing motion in the games, which isn't as disturbing as pants-flashing, but unless he is chewing on his cheek's interior I can help but wonder what he is doing, or why Game Freak animated him that way.

Oh, and there is this:

From the Pokemon Burst manga, this is a Scraggy combined with a human. Ugly in every medium.


There, got through that, and hopefully without sounding like someone who doesn't appreciate the world of Pokemon. I've sunk more hours into this series than any other, and I will probably be playing it for as long as I play video games. I may need to do a top 10 favorites list to balance out the venom I dished out in this list, but we'll see what happens in time.

Speaking of venom, how come the Poison type gets the short end of the stick? Super effective against one type, resisted by four, ineffective against Steel. Why can't it be super effective against fighting and water, since Fighting types would be unable to fight if ill and Water that's polluted/poisoned would be harmful? And Ice type needs to be better defensively! Seriously, it only resists itself! Can't it also...

Wait, that's enough for now. Pokemon is good despite its flaws, but just like anything great, it is bound to have a few hiccups along the way, and these were the 10 Pokemon that bug me the most.