"Like all of you gathered here today, I once found comfort in the fact this world was governed by immutable logic. We were all subject to the same limitations, the same universal rules that ensured our lives, our world... ALL of this was consistent."
"Then we realized how wrong we were. Beings with the power to bend reality to their will shattered that comforting illusion. Where once we were beholden only to the machinations of an impartial universe, now we exist at the pleasure of individuals we have no hope of standing against."
"Some would act with benevolence, but just as often these beings brought with them danger, reality constantly teetering on a knife's edge, the end of everything impossible to predict but a constant danger that we can't ignore."
"There are some who fight for us, our continued survival, but there can be only one refuge from such powerful beings, and that is to break away from their domain. A reality beyond reality where they could never reach us, a universe that would live on after the inevitable destruction this world constantly flirts with. Thanks to all of you, we are closer than ever to realizing this final hope, but our Noah's Ark is incomplete."
"We have done all we can with volunteers who believe in our cause, and every year spent working towards this escape is another we risk the balance shifting in a way that will bring all we know to an abrupt end. Would we had time to continue our work, had we a stronger sign to all that the state of this universe is untenable, perhaps we would be able to complete our cosmic lifeboat. I am not so naive to think we can continue on with good intentions alone."
"Our new universe and our only means to making it will require skillsets and knowledge we have not yet converted to our cause. You have all done valiant work and I could never thank you enough for it, but there are individuals and resources that could ensure our survival on the other side who simply will not join us without extra measures being taken to coerce them. To that end, Doctor Eggert has conceived of a new program, a means through which we can speed up our development and ensure that the best parts of this universe come with us to the next."
Paul Serene pulls back from the microphone, the eyes of the massive crowd now shifting to the man in a wheelchair rolling up to take over the speech. Eggert could feel their gaze upon him, and while the lights aimed at the stage meant he could not make out even the people he knew amongst this crowd Serene had gathered aboard the Doomseye space station, he could feel their displeasure at seeing him. He was not disfigured in any manner, but there was a sense of otherness to him, an unexplainable feeling that this human being before them didn't belong in this world, but as he looked out across this featureless crowd, he felt he was the only one who could see that they did not belong either. That sense of unease that followed him had turned him cold, but with the promise of another universe ahead, one where all who entered it would by its very nature be foreign to it, Eggert could finally be on an even level with everyone else.
He spoke. "I am calling it the Salvager program..."
-----------------------------------
The large metal door to a meeting room slides open to admit four figures. At the head of this group stood its largest member, a man bulging with muscles and with perfectly coifed hair stepping into the room with a chiseled chin held high and his shades glistening in the artificial light of the Doomseye's office area.
He was the one in chains.
Standing with a crossbow at the back of this mountain of muscle was the only one who might be a match for him physically. This alien creature's garb spoke of the Wild West but his features were an unearthly mix of man and beast, a disproportionate body with scraggly hair and a face like a cougar that wore his grimace well.
To his side was a woman, her pale blue and black body broken up by stitches and markings in equal measure. Hunched over partially from disposition and partially from physical necessity, her dark cloak was an odd match for her huge pink pigtails, and clothes seemed more of a suggestion to her than something she was wearing out of any desire to look better.
The final member of the group quickly pushed her way to the front, her angry expression breaking any illusion that she was dressed the way she was for humor's sake. What at first looked like a playful woman in a sexy Halloween scientist costume quickly established itself as a woman you must take seriously, the redhead pointing a furious finger at one of the three women already in the room.
"That's another bum tip on Doctor Light!" she calls out across the table, the statement half a growl and half an exhausted sigh. The two women on either side of the central figure tense up, but the target of the anger sits calmly and quietly as Miss Monday continues to speak.
"You need to get your fucking information verified before you send any of us down there! We almost got our asses sliced up and served to us seared and salted thanks to some damn scuttlebutt!"
The target of this anger remained unmoved, Em's hands on the table and only her eyes breaking the stillness of her body until she spoke. "I am not the one in charge of our information network. Mustacho must have had reason to believe this was a legitimate chance to finally salvage the doctor, he's not one to share his secrets willingly. You can speak to him yourself if you wish to-"
"I AM going to speak with him myself! Right now!" Miss Monday yells, marching away from the room and the group as she aims to continue her tirade at the person who deserved it most. Besides a whistle and a laugh from the muscular man, the room was briefly quiet following the departure of the fiery redhead, but Em was quick to discuss important matters.
"You didn't find Doctor Light, so what is this you brought before me?"
Before either the zombie woman or rugged alien could have the chance to speak, the man in chains steps forward, ignoring his predicament as he leans as far as he can across the table to have his glasses line up with Em's eyes.
"You have the INCREDIBLE pleasure of feasting your eyes on the one, the only... Brad! If you need any help remembering the name instead of the bod, just think Bodacious, Rad, Awesome, and Delicious, and while I don't usually give nerdy ladies a taste of this prime rib, remove the glasses and maybe we'll talk."
The two women standing beside Em were quick to act, the chiseled cheeks of the boisterous buffoon suddenly pressed in by the barrels of two AK-47s.
"Do we kill this meathead here or should we throw him out the airlock to watch him burst?" The smaller and angrier Eunji asks.
"You should lean back a little, sir. Eunji may have her safety on still but I'm sure she'll find a way to kill you if you don't dial it back a bit!" Jeong adds, the older girl almost joking with Brad even though it made Eunji angrily flip her safety off as a response to her sister noticing her error.
To his credit, Brad does lean back, but to his discredit, he then follows it up by talking more, "Why do you got preschoolers as bodyguards?"
Eunji's teeth almost crack as she scowls at Brad, but Jeong laughs, "You didn't seem too bad until you opened your mouth, but I guess if I'm too young for you, I'll have to save these for someone else." Jeong puffs her chest out, Brad's gawking keeping him from further embarassment before the alien stranger behind him finally yanks him back to keep the situation from escalating any further.
"I assure you these women are qualified for their work," Em cuts in, holding a hand up to get the girls to lower their guns. "What I'm wondering is why you're here." she adds, the statement directed more at the two people in the room who haven't spoken yet.
"Well," Lady Zozo begins, "Those lady robots we thought were Light's had to come from somewhere. Turns out it was this guy. Didn't even steal them, he made them himself. Somewhere under all that meat must be a brain, but I haven't found it yet." she says, patting one of Brad's arms and getting a surprisingly shocked look from the otherwise overly cocky man.
"Please stop letting her touch me. She wants the Bradster, can't blame her, but she wants me piece by piece!"
"I could do so much more with your arms than you," Zozo adds with a dark chuckle.
"So he's capable of building advanced androids as well then..."
"Yeah," Zozo goes on, "He's like, a consolation prize. He's not on the list, but he can do the same things as Light, right? Should be good enough to earn our way."
"I think he's shown why he isn't," Em says flatly.
"Should've gagged him, or cut out his tongue," the alien grumbles.
"I have too many tongues already," Zozo jokes, but Brad's mouth tightens as if to protect his all the same. "He really isn't smart enough though?"
"He has a... difficult personality." Em replies. "We have limited space and we can't just admit anyone with a possibly useful skill unproven."
"Limited space? Yeah I probably wouldn't fit then," Brad says, braggadocio restored as he begins flexing, "You can't contain the Brad so easy!" he boasts, only for the alien stranger to grab the chains and tighten them to get a high pitched squeak from Brad.
Zozo sighs, "It was hard enough getting him... can't we do something?"
Em was quiet as she thought, but while everyone else in the room was used to this thoughtful pause from the manager of the Salvager program, Brad was trying to pass his furtive looks around the room off as him just occupying his time until he was the one to break the silence. "So what had hottits all hot and bothered?" he blurts out.
"Idiots saying shit like that!" Eunji snarls as she lifts her rifle up again, only for Jeong to lower it with a finger.
"He meant Monday, not you." Jeong says, Eunji flustered even more now after her error.
"The world's ending and she didn't get her ticket off," Zozo adds casually, only for Brad's face to pale.
"W-w-what? The world is ending? Why wouldn't anyone tell me? Don't they know how much we'll lose if the Brad goes down with it? How do I get a ticket? How much is it? I got cash! Or favors! Does glasses chick have 'em? I was kidding about the... everything! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE-"
Em holds up a hand, Brad seeming to freeze as he felt his life in this woman's hands. Em's eyes move to Zozo and the alien before she sighs, closing them and leaning back in her chair. "I'm sure you've seen how much the world is changing. How many people want to end it, and how we all have to hope that someone able to stop them will prevent it. It's only a matter of time til that battle is lost, and we want to make sure this entire universe doesn't go down in the fire. Monday, Zozo, and The Stranger, they're all part of a program to help ensure that useful individuals and technologies from this world survive the unknowable apocalypse. We can't save everything, and what we can save should be things and people that will help a new world thrive, but to make sure we can get everything and everyone worth saving, Salvagers are offered a chance to come with us so long as they perform well in service to those ends."
"So what you're saying is... I'm a useful guy these salvage people scooped up?"
"What I'm saying is you don't qualify as useful salvage." Em's succinct reply got tears to appear in Brad's eyes, and while she had been trying to keep her eyes closed to avoid seeing it, his blubbering was too hard to close out. She continues to speak, having already predicted the conversation would take this path. "If what Monday and Zozo say is true, you not only have some degree of technical expertise, but enough to put up a fight... and presumably those muscles aren't just for show... If you'd be willing to become a Salvager, maybe you'd have a chance of coming with us."
"I already qualify! You just said how awesome I am! Just let me in!" Brad says, struggling against his chains until The Stranger reminds him there's a weapon at his back.
Zozo's laugh was fake and dry, "Ha. You're not special, big guy. I can bring people back from the dead and I still don't get a free pass."
"His reason for being denied is the same as yours, Zozo."
"You frankenstein together corpses too?" she says, a bit of brightness in the zombie's eyes as she looks up at Brad.
"That's not what I meant," Em clarifies, "We won't invite discord into the new world willingly, and you've been nothing but a nuisance since you showed up, Brad. If you can prove you have value and aren't just a burden, then you could earn your way."
"This is an awful idea," Eunji groans, "He's not going to stop being a pig, he'll just get better at hiding it."
"It's not our place to judge him but... we might need an HR person if he does join," Jeong adds. Em was quiet, Brad afraid to speak now and ruin his chances, but an unexpected voice cuts through Em's thoughts.
"Give him to Eggert".
The Stranger wasn't interested in the discussion, but he was interested to getting back to work. The ex-bounty hunter certainly didn't have a clean past either so he had no interest in debating Brad's value, but if it got him back into the field salvaging sooner, he'd argue for it. "He seems like the type the doctor would like."
Em considered The Stranger's words before shaking her head, "Eggert has been growing quite a collection of Salvagers since Moonface joined him. We need capable individuals in our divisions too. ...If you're willing to join us Brad, I'll add you to this group here."
"Oh boy," Zozo mumbles, but she's quickly drowned out as a louder voice almost crashes into the room from the reopened door.
"You're adding this lunkhead to MY team?" Miss Monday yells as she reenters the room, Brad quickly wiping his face to hide that he was breaking down over the possibility of being left behind. Miss Monday approaches, glaring at him harshly before placing a hand on one of his pectorals, her lips scrunching up as she considered him.
Before Em could notify her of the situation, Monday grabs one of the chains around Brad and yanks him away. "You're coming with me. Might as well have some fun with the good part of you if I'm stuck with the rest."
"I don't know why this is happening but the Bradster is digging it!" he laughs.
"You're keeping the chains on," Monday adds as she leaves the room again, Brad in tow.
"So..." Zozo starts, "You think she wants him for the sex or experiments?"
"Sex can be an experiment if you're adventurous enough," Jeong chitters.
"I don't think a man like that will be interested in her cybernetic research," Em says, standing up from her seat now that the meeting was wrapping up. "Please make sure she doesn't bruise him too much."
"Can I PLEASE be doing something else right now?" The Strangers says with more emotion than anything else, the alien all too eager to escape this line of conversation.
Em nods, "You're right. Time is short. Let's get back to work. You're next target has verified appearances in the Kuwahawi island chain..."
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