It should come as no surprise really that a face that appears in brick
walls would use one of those old cell phones that were the size of a
brick. When he tossed it down, the heavy telephone smashed down on
Tut-Tut’s head, sending up a cloud of sand and dust as it squished the
mummified dodo’s head in. It did not have the kind of impact of a skull
cracking though, more like a blanket with a lot of air under it being
pressed down. The temporary time spirit staggered a bit… and then
staggered a bit again, and again, and again. An almost infinite time
loop of staggering occurs, but soon the little guy’s lights are out, and
the confused attempts at undoing the damage to his head cease.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...........
"WAKE UP TIME SPIRIT"
The eyes of the tiny mummy crack open, light flooding in and forcing him to shut them again. It was not the sterile light of electricity, nor was it the dim glow of a torch. It was a light as brilliant as a sun, and for all rights it should have blinded him, and had he been a mere mortal, he probably would have been.
Tut-Tut ventures to open his eyes again, and in doing so sees the source of the glow. He was no longer in the labyrinth with WALL!! and Meat Boy, but the area around him still had the ancient architecture one would expect from a ruin. However, this place had glowing marble columns and a ceiling that swirled into the cosmos. Around the perimeter of the room were many faces, very few familiar to the little mummy but their descriptions from his employer filling in the blanks. These were the Spirits. A living sewer pipe belched waste near to him, it's grotesque body somehow odorless in these halls. A being made of storms and lightning flickered in and out of view as its body flashed with brilliant light. Behind him, Tut-Tut could make out the Destroyers: strange titan like beings who serve as the fear that hangs over any spirit's head if they fail to do their job. The Time Destroyer was present this day.
As his eyes grew more accustomed to the light, he made out the spirit that was floating next to him, a face quite familiar to him. The Death Spirit: Phantomon. No doubt the Digimon had brought him here following his death in the arena, but the ghost seemed to be giving Tut-Tut no special treatment. Phantomon would not even look at the mummy as it scrambled to its feet, but when Tut-Tut finally looked towards the front of the room, he saw why.
Tut-Tut had only heard his voice once before, so he could not recognize it at first. The Spirits that control the universe were beings of immense power, and although the Destroyers were created to keep them in line, there had to be someone to regulate the Spirits and create Destroyers. At the front of the room stood a beast on a thousand legs, with a cobra like body that stretched far into the cosmic ceiling. On its frill was a thousand faces, and hundreds of them were staring directly at the tiny Time Spirit.
Tut-Tut fell backwards from shock, but Phantomon's arm was quick to catch him. The mummy trembled, the sight of the Ultra Spirit overwhelming the insignificant little creature that stood before it. When the Ultra Spirit spoke, five hundred mouths bellowed forth in unison, sending shivers down even the most hardened Spirit's spines.
"TIME SPIRIT, YOU CONTINUE TO DISAPPOINT."
Tut-Tut sputtered to try and respond, but he was drowned out by more of the Ultra Spirit's bellowing.
"YOU FAIL TO MAINTAIN THE TIMELINE. YOU DIE WITH NO PLANS FOR REVIVAL. THE DEATH SPIRIT CANNOT FERRY YOU BACK WITHOUT REASON, TIME SPIRIT."
Tut-Tut's bandages are soaked as he is brought to tears. The words pain him to hear both physically and emotionally, and standing behind him was the Time Destroyer, a being specifically made to eradicate spirits from existence if they fail to do their job or step out of line. The Ultra Spirit continued on as if it could not see Tut-Tut's distress.
"YOUR PREDECESSOR SEEMED FOOLISH TO PASS ON HIS POWER TO YOU...
BUT WE CAN SEE POTENTIAL IN YOU."
The words barely registered in Tut-Tut's mind, and even when they did, he could not collect himself. A second chance?
"YOU ARE MORE EFFICIENT THAN YOUR PREDECESSOR, BUT LACK HIS WILLINGNESS TO DO WHAT MUST BE DONE. YOU MUST BE WILLING TO DUE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PRESERVE THE TIMELINE, TIME SPIRIT. PROVE YOUR WORTH. WE DO NOT OFTEN GIVE SECOND CHANCES, AND YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU FAIL."
The Time Destroyer shifts its weight behind Tut-Tut, causing the scared mummy to fall forward. He quickly bows repeatedly to the Ultra Spirit, frantically thanking it between mournful gasps. Tut-Tut would be spared, but the uneasy Time Spirit could no longer ignore the more brutal aspects of keeping the timeline in check. Phantomon payed his respects to the Ultra Spirit and dragged the crying mummy away, the strange council of Spirits disappearing behind him. As they floated through the nothingness, Phantomon spoke without looking at the mummy as it gradually calmed down.
"Killing is not easy Tut-Tut, and I cannot say it will get easier the more you do it. But death is necessary. You can get others to do it for you, but in the end, you must keep the timeline safe, no matter what it takes. If you fail to make use of the second chance the Ultra Spirit granted you, the Time Destroyer will be the least of your worries."
"I...I... I don't want to be Time Spirit anymore. I'm giving it back to Jumpropeman..."
"The only reason the Ultra Spirit spared you is because he prefers you to Jumpropeman. I would not risk angering it by giving the Jingle Specter back its powers. Besides, I am sure it will be easier for you now. That computer Jumpropeman had made for you should help."
"I don't know Phantomon... This is bigger than I ever thought... How do you do it?"
"With a hollow heart Tut-Tut... with a hollow heart."
Tut-Tut did not have time to ask Phantomon what he meant. A puttering RV bobbed into view in front of them, and they floated through the side of it, avoiding even Jumpropeman's detection. The body of the mummy was placed on a table, in surprisingly good condition for having been dead for almost 6 months.
"Goodbye Tut-Tut, and remember, you are not alone."
Phantomon lets go of Tut-Tut, and the mummy swirls back into his corpse, his mind going blank as it ties back with the corporeal brain and body...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright Sneferu, I dig Mummy's Curses as much as you, but as cool as it is to rapidly age a guy, that's when you cross the line into my domain."
Voices. He hadn't heard voices in years. He hadn't heard in years either. Something was going on, but trapped in his sarcophagus, he could not make out more than just the muffled sounds of some sort of conflict. Pained groans came from somewhere, and a the sound of a bell ringing was shrill and painful even behind the door of the coffin. After the bell echoed, the sounds of the groans ceased, punctuated by what sounded like crumbling.
"We're done here. We need to do something about these Egyptians, Hatch-o-Hatch, they are far too close to the Sands of Time and I am tired of getting called out here to quell their mischief."
A different voice started this time, a rather high pitch, an accented one with an air of false sophistication.
"Do not worry sir, I can get right on that."
"Yeah, sure buddy, just like you were going to get on debugging the Tester unit and handling the mercenary salaries."
The high-pitched voice grunts in disapproval, but after an exasperated sigh from the first voice, they seem to both disappear. Still locked within his sarcophagus, he had no idea what had just transpired, or why he had awoken, but suddenly, his coffin was lifted up and jostled around. He let out a peep of terror, his mouth working for the first time in centuries. Suddenly, the sarcophagus clattered to the ground, and his body spilled out.
The light in the tomb was dim, and he had no idea what was going on in it. He saw the crumpled body of what had once been Sneferu, but before he could figure out what happened, a burlap sack was thrown over his head. He began squawking, but his vocalizations slowly shifted into words.
"HELP! HELP!" He had never spoken before, but the words seemed to come naturally to him. His thoughts were no longer locked in his head, and he was able to freely speak them for all to hear. Right now, it seemed like only one person was there to hear them, and he was clearly not someone who wished to help him.
The thing trying to put a burlap sack over his head was not human or animal. It's body had the shape and appearance of an overweight soft-boiled egg, and it was wrapped in a vest with around a hundred pockets. Peering out of these pockets were snakes of all kinds, many hissing as their keeper struggled to capture the loud mummy. The sack had in it already many items of gold and silver, and the bespectacled face of the strange egg man was curled in a nervous and angry scowl. The urgency of his motions was explained when a silvery blue ghost came through the wall of the tomb.
"Hatch-o-Hatch what's the hold- Damnit Hatch!" The ghost rang its bell, and suddenly time stopped around the egg creature. "I can't take you anywhere... You greedy little egg."
Not waiting to see what was going on, he scrambled away again, stumbling as it found its legs wrapped into strange nubs. It fluttered what were once it wings, but now that were contorted into strange arms. He had no idea what was happening, but his running caught the eye of the ghost.
"Hey little fella, look at you! You're the funkiest mummy I've ever seen. You supposed to be some kind of bird?"
"I'm a... a dodo." He says, still unused to the ability to speak.
"Look at that, old Sneferu's Curse gave his menagerie some of his magic. Well I got some bad news dodo, but your master is history, or I guess, history again. Double dead, if you will. And if you hadn't noticed, you're dead too."
He looked down at his body, and it all began to click. Sitting down in a way his old body never could, he began to take it all in, and he started crying.
"Oh geeze, uh... Didn't mean to hit you with it like that... Look, Dodo, uh... How 'bout we get you out of this dump? I think I know what will cheer you up (after I read up on Egypt and Dodos of course...)."
The ghost lifted him up, and was prepared to ring his bell when he spared a look back at the frozen body of the egg man.
"Consider this your pink slip, Hatch-o-Hatch." Time unfroze around the egg as the ghost teleported away with the Dodo, and in the darkness of the tomb, Hatch-o-Hatch realized where his greed and laziness had got him...
The dodo had no idea what was going on around him, but he was taking it surprisingly well considering. The ghost noticed it, surprised at how quickly it was calming down and growing accustomed to its strange new situation.
"Got a name there, Dodo?" it asked.
He pondered for a minute, but nothing came to mind. He shook his head no, unable to remember much of his life before death. He was still a bit surprised he was dead in the first place.
"Well, I'm gonna call you... Tut-Tut. It's like dodo, but with a mummy sorta name. Sound good?"
Tut-Tut nodded. He wasn't paying much attention anyway, instead looking at the strange swirling time floe around him as they traveled to their destination.
"Good! Well I'm the Jingle Specter, or you can call me Jumpropeman. Either works, but one certainly sounds better, right? I'm a Time Spirit, I go around fixing time and stuff. Your owner Sneferu was tampering with it while using his magic to curse tomb raiders, so I had to fix him up. Didn't expect his animals to be alive again too."
Jumpropeman continued talking, seemingly happy to have found a new person to listen to him. Tut-Tut's willingness to listen to JRM's ranting would prove to be his greatest asset, for as Jumpropeman went through new candidates for assistants after ditching Hatch-o-Hatch, he always found himself thinking aloud towards the little mummy. Tut-Tut slowly grew into the role as assistant, and despite his unease with his mummified body and the ever present shock of the world of being a Time Spirit's assistant, Tut-Tut proved to be the perfect anchor to JRM's wildness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...........
"Wake up Tut-Tut."
The eyes of the tiny mummy crack open, light flooding in and forcing him
to shut them again. This time it was the sterile light of electricity, and the faint shadow of a memory floats away from his mind as he leaves his dreams and reenters our world. When his eyes opened, he was greeted by three huge smiles: the near toothless and slightly slanted grin of Whitey, the long green bar of a grin of Mr. Chips, and the biggest of all: Jumpropeman's massive black smile. As soon as the mummy's eyes were open, he was scooped up in a hug by the Jingle Specter.
"TUT-TUT'S BACK BABY!"
The three all begin celebrating and cheering, with Tut-Tut still trying to adjust his mind to the setting. He was alive again, and back with his friends. In the back of his mind the Ultra Spirit's order and Phantomon's words still echoed, but as Jumpropeman pulled him over to some rather old Ful Medames and tea, Tut-Tut's mind was pulled back to reality.
When Jumpropeman spoke, it seemed to echo an earlier time.
"Eat up there buddy, let's try and forget all that bad stuff with some treats!"
He couldn't eat it that first time all those years ago, and he still couldn't it now, but Tut-Tut knew what it meant. The mummy pulled JRM in for a hug, tearing up once more, just happy to be back and alive again.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Theoretical Uncle Greg backstory
(For a while now, I have been joking about the concept of the character of Uncle Greg, an uncle to the Sarah sisters based off the surprisingly buff White Wizard sprite of FF1
Although he has mostly existed as a joke, I have in my spare time developed a perfectly serious and compatible backstory for this character, and although he may never come to be because of the dangerous politics of introducing Sarahkin, I thought I'd share it with ya'll)
Uncle Greg, or as he was originally known, White Mage, was somewhat conflicted when he was growing up in Mysidia. His older brother, the mage later to be known as Helios, had sought a career in being a White Mage, and Greg felt the pressure of those around him to pursue the magical arts as well. He had no real idea of where he wanted to head in life, so White Magic seem just as good a future as any. However, as he learned more and more White Magic, he grew unimpressed with the magic's use in battle. It was only when he mastered the offensive spell Holy that he truly discovered his passion.
Greg liked to battle, not to sit back and heal those who fought. But at this point in his life, he had already become a master White Mage, to the point he was promoted to the position of White Wizard. With the role came his inclusion in a powerful adventuring party, where he was expected to back up his Knight and Ninja allies rather than joining in the battles themselves. He would often charge in against his allies' advice with his weak weapon solely for the sake of breaking the monotony of healing, and it came to a point where they just stopped buying him weapons.
That didn't stop Greg though. Greg would rush in with just his fists to deal final blows to near dead monsters, and soon his part became fed up with his antics. They sought a new healer, leaving the White Wizard to wander the world alone...
It was during this time of traveling on his own he found his identity. Shirking the name of his role, he finally assumed the name Gregory, although he insisted people call him Greg due to his incredibly friendly and jovial nature. Gregory, he thought, was just for sounding important when he had to intimidate opponents, whether or not that held true is debatable.
Greg spent much of his time honing his body, trying to make up for his lack of weapons by defeating weak monsters with his bare hands. One day though, he bit off more than he can chew when he stumbled across a strange machine with laser weaponry. His fists could do nothing to the metal hide of the monster, but he was saved by a strange man who fended off the machine with his fists alone.
The man turned out to be a Monk named Yang. Yang had noticed Greg's robes and figured him for a white mage whose adventuring party must have fallen in battle. Yang took Greg in, and for a while, Greg returned the favor by serving as a healer for the Monk as Yang repelled monsters from the nearby settlements. Greg was once again preoccupied during battle though, watching Yang overcome his body's limitations rather than focusing on healing. The White Wizard was slowly forgetting the magic he learned, replacing it instead with knowledge of how to use his body for battle.
One day, he admitted to Yang he no longer wished to be a mage, hoping for the Monk to train him as a pupil. Yang accepted, but the vigor with which Greg approached the training shocked him. Greg would push his body beyond its breaking point, often injuring himself during training. Greg would quickly heal himself up though, but Yang saw the self-destructive behavior of his overeager student, so the Monk claimed he had taught Greg all he could.
Greg went peacefully, believing the lie, but still believing he could push his body further. Greg would exercise and train to the point he would often break bones or tear muscles, only for him to heal himself up and continue. Soon, he had reached what seemed like his limit. Greg finally felt strong enough to outshine even Yang in the realm of hand-to-hand combat.His ability to push beyond his bodies limit with the aid of his white magic was what made him so powerful and dangerous.
Greg had kept in contact with his brother, although the letters were sparse due to the circumstances involving a wandering and training brawler. It was the news of a wedding that drew Greg homeward, where he would try to reconcile his failure as a White Wizard with the leaders of Mysidia, to the point where he was willing to renounce the title to maintain the dignity of the rarely given position.
However, Greg could not resist combat, and on the way to Mysidia, he fought nearly everything he'd see. He defeated monsters, wrestled bears, and even took on a few bets in friendly combat, but his desire to take on all comers would prove to be his undoing.
A strange man dressed in robes had heard of Greg through his conquests. This man had dark plans, and he had been systematically eliminating threats to their execution. A powerful warrior like Greg was bound to catch his eye. He challenged Greg while the former White Wizard was setting up camp during the twilight hours. Greg eagerly accepted, dropping his camping gear and allowing his challenger to get in the first punch.
A hand quickly clasped Greg's shoulder, the hood of the man's robes falling back and revealing not a face, but a strange swirl of magic and runes. Greg felt his body shifting into a similar form, and before he knew it, he had disappeared off the face of the planet.
Helios had thought Greg had avoided the wedding by choice, still wrapped up in a world of self-betterment rather than caring about those around him. The discovery of the abandoned camp site later made him regret these bitter thoughts. Mysidian officials declared Greg dead, honoring him in the halls as a great White Wizard.
But Greg had not died. His body, now a swirl of letters and magic, floated through the ether. Many other warriors floated through this world as well, but they lacked a certain trait that made Greg different. Greg had valued the betterment of his body over all else, it's true, but being warped into this formless being had caused such a great rage in the former mage that he was able to channel the magicks of his body to recreate his human form.
However, when he had returned to his body, he found that he was no longer anywhere near home. Uncle Greg began to search for a way home, but he soon found that if he lacked concentration, his body would return to its ethereal form. Greg had always skimped over Yang's lessons on meditation in favor of the physical training, and now he was forced to relearn mental discipline if he hoped to maintain his precious body.
It is hard to say where he is now, but he still journeys in search of his lost world, hoping to finally see his brother and his new bride.
(I am not sure if this completely melds with Gooper's ideas about Mysidia, but this was more a thought exercise than anything. I'd love to RP Uncle Greg, but I would hate to step on his toes and ruin the amazing things he's done with the Sarahkin)
Uncle Greg, or as he was originally known, White Mage, was somewhat conflicted when he was growing up in Mysidia. His older brother, the mage later to be known as Helios, had sought a career in being a White Mage, and Greg felt the pressure of those around him to pursue the magical arts as well. He had no real idea of where he wanted to head in life, so White Magic seem just as good a future as any. However, as he learned more and more White Magic, he grew unimpressed with the magic's use in battle. It was only when he mastered the offensive spell Holy that he truly discovered his passion.
Greg liked to battle, not to sit back and heal those who fought. But at this point in his life, he had already become a master White Mage, to the point he was promoted to the position of White Wizard. With the role came his inclusion in a powerful adventuring party, where he was expected to back up his Knight and Ninja allies rather than joining in the battles themselves. He would often charge in against his allies' advice with his weak weapon solely for the sake of breaking the monotony of healing, and it came to a point where they just stopped buying him weapons.
That didn't stop Greg though. Greg would rush in with just his fists to deal final blows to near dead monsters, and soon his part became fed up with his antics. They sought a new healer, leaving the White Wizard to wander the world alone...
It was during this time of traveling on his own he found his identity. Shirking the name of his role, he finally assumed the name Gregory, although he insisted people call him Greg due to his incredibly friendly and jovial nature. Gregory, he thought, was just for sounding important when he had to intimidate opponents, whether or not that held true is debatable.
Greg spent much of his time honing his body, trying to make up for his lack of weapons by defeating weak monsters with his bare hands. One day though, he bit off more than he can chew when he stumbled across a strange machine with laser weaponry. His fists could do nothing to the metal hide of the monster, but he was saved by a strange man who fended off the machine with his fists alone.
The man turned out to be a Monk named Yang. Yang had noticed Greg's robes and figured him for a white mage whose adventuring party must have fallen in battle. Yang took Greg in, and for a while, Greg returned the favor by serving as a healer for the Monk as Yang repelled monsters from the nearby settlements. Greg was once again preoccupied during battle though, watching Yang overcome his body's limitations rather than focusing on healing. The White Wizard was slowly forgetting the magic he learned, replacing it instead with knowledge of how to use his body for battle.
One day, he admitted to Yang he no longer wished to be a mage, hoping for the Monk to train him as a pupil. Yang accepted, but the vigor with which Greg approached the training shocked him. Greg would push his body beyond its breaking point, often injuring himself during training. Greg would quickly heal himself up though, but Yang saw the self-destructive behavior of his overeager student, so the Monk claimed he had taught Greg all he could.
Greg went peacefully, believing the lie, but still believing he could push his body further. Greg would exercise and train to the point he would often break bones or tear muscles, only for him to heal himself up and continue. Soon, he had reached what seemed like his limit. Greg finally felt strong enough to outshine even Yang in the realm of hand-to-hand combat.His ability to push beyond his bodies limit with the aid of his white magic was what made him so powerful and dangerous.
Greg had kept in contact with his brother, although the letters were sparse due to the circumstances involving a wandering and training brawler. It was the news of a wedding that drew Greg homeward, where he would try to reconcile his failure as a White Wizard with the leaders of Mysidia, to the point where he was willing to renounce the title to maintain the dignity of the rarely given position.
However, Greg could not resist combat, and on the way to Mysidia, he fought nearly everything he'd see. He defeated monsters, wrestled bears, and even took on a few bets in friendly combat, but his desire to take on all comers would prove to be his undoing.
A strange man dressed in robes had heard of Greg through his conquests. This man had dark plans, and he had been systematically eliminating threats to their execution. A powerful warrior like Greg was bound to catch his eye. He challenged Greg while the former White Wizard was setting up camp during the twilight hours. Greg eagerly accepted, dropping his camping gear and allowing his challenger to get in the first punch.
A hand quickly clasped Greg's shoulder, the hood of the man's robes falling back and revealing not a face, but a strange swirl of magic and runes. Greg felt his body shifting into a similar form, and before he knew it, he had disappeared off the face of the planet.
Helios had thought Greg had avoided the wedding by choice, still wrapped up in a world of self-betterment rather than caring about those around him. The discovery of the abandoned camp site later made him regret these bitter thoughts. Mysidian officials declared Greg dead, honoring him in the halls as a great White Wizard.
But Greg had not died. His body, now a swirl of letters and magic, floated through the ether. Many other warriors floated through this world as well, but they lacked a certain trait that made Greg different. Greg had valued the betterment of his body over all else, it's true, but being warped into this formless being had caused such a great rage in the former mage that he was able to channel the magicks of his body to recreate his human form.
However, when he had returned to his body, he found that he was no longer anywhere near home. Uncle Greg began to search for a way home, but he soon found that if he lacked concentration, his body would return to its ethereal form. Greg had always skimped over Yang's lessons on meditation in favor of the physical training, and now he was forced to relearn mental discipline if he hoped to maintain his precious body.
It is hard to say where he is now, but he still journeys in search of his lost world, hoping to finally see his brother and his new bride.
(I am not sure if this completely melds with Gooper's ideas about Mysidia, but this was more a thought exercise than anything. I'd love to RP Uncle Greg, but I would hate to step on his toes and ruin the amazing things he's done with the Sarahkin)
Sunday, April 6, 2014
The Fool
Chocolate Bars.
Chocolate was hardly the best material to build the bars to a prison cell with, and based on the gaping hole in between them, they definitely did not do their job. However, this peculiar cell somehow still had one inmate in it, a miserable looking fellow sitting on a warm bench covered in marks.
The bells on his hat jingled merrily as he sunk his head low. The only prisoner in the Pungeon of Looney Land had no guard to hold him in and no traps impeding his escape, but still he remained in his cell, his sullen face contrasting with the whimsical decor of what was meant to be his place of imprisonment. The only sound were the muted laughter of some people upstairs, their cackling loud enough to break past the dampening layers of stone between the main floors and the basement levels. To escape, the prisoner would have to climb the stairs into this chambers brimming with laughter, and that is why he chose to stay in his cell after only one attempt at escape.
At all hours, the laughter raged on. There seemed to be no sleep for his captors, but he knew all too well what he was getting into when he first came to Looney Land.
Jokerton was dressed in all the staples of court jesterhood. His goofy shoes and loud colors made him seem like a perfect fit for a land full of humor and mirth, but beneath his cap n' bells was a face frozen in a persistent frown. Perhaps this might have not been a deal breaker if his face did not match his mood. Jokerton was hardly full of a ton of jokes, in fact, he had never told a joke in his life. Yet still, he was a Fool, and with his inability to play this role is what had brought him to Looney Land in the first place.
The jester did not want to be miserable. He wanted to be the clown who could make people laugh, but he could never wrap his mind around humor. He had sought help from all over, and many times he had ended up in worse situations then the one he was in right now, but few of them could match the sting of being held captive by laughter when laughter was what he sought. The citizens of Looney Land were eager to let him in when they saw his attire, but when he failed to follow up his arrival with even a smirk, he was brought before the king.
Based on his current predicament, it is quite clear how that went.
Jokerton let out a long sigh. Sleep deprivation was not helping his mood, and even if he dared to dry, he might miss his morning meal. Their insistence on a fast breakfast often meant the meal break ended before he even awoke. So for now, the jester could do nothing but think, pondering himself ever deeper into the mulligrubs that had been his reason for imprisonment in the first place.
Chocolate was hardly the best material to build the bars to a prison cell with, and based on the gaping hole in between them, they definitely did not do their job. However, this peculiar cell somehow still had one inmate in it, a miserable looking fellow sitting on a warm bench covered in marks.
The bells on his hat jingled merrily as he sunk his head low. The only prisoner in the Pungeon of Looney Land had no guard to hold him in and no traps impeding his escape, but still he remained in his cell, his sullen face contrasting with the whimsical decor of what was meant to be his place of imprisonment. The only sound were the muted laughter of some people upstairs, their cackling loud enough to break past the dampening layers of stone between the main floors and the basement levels. To escape, the prisoner would have to climb the stairs into this chambers brimming with laughter, and that is why he chose to stay in his cell after only one attempt at escape.
At all hours, the laughter raged on. There seemed to be no sleep for his captors, but he knew all too well what he was getting into when he first came to Looney Land.
Jokerton was dressed in all the staples of court jesterhood. His goofy shoes and loud colors made him seem like a perfect fit for a land full of humor and mirth, but beneath his cap n' bells was a face frozen in a persistent frown. Perhaps this might have not been a deal breaker if his face did not match his mood. Jokerton was hardly full of a ton of jokes, in fact, he had never told a joke in his life. Yet still, he was a Fool, and with his inability to play this role is what had brought him to Looney Land in the first place.
The jester did not want to be miserable. He wanted to be the clown who could make people laugh, but he could never wrap his mind around humor. He had sought help from all over, and many times he had ended up in worse situations then the one he was in right now, but few of them could match the sting of being held captive by laughter when laughter was what he sought. The citizens of Looney Land were eager to let him in when they saw his attire, but when he failed to follow up his arrival with even a smirk, he was brought before the king.
Based on his current predicament, it is quite clear how that went.
Jokerton let out a long sigh. Sleep deprivation was not helping his mood, and even if he dared to dry, he might miss his morning meal. Their insistence on a fast breakfast often meant the meal break ended before he even awoke. So for now, the jester could do nothing but think, pondering himself ever deeper into the mulligrubs that had been his reason for imprisonment in the first place.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Reopening Old Wounds
During our time together as ZFRP, there have been quite a few moments that have ruffled the feathers of the main group of RPers. We are all heavily invested in the RP and characters we have created here together, so sometimes when controversial issues come up, there is much outcry and even rebellion against them. Lately, we have chosen to gloss over some of our more difficult times, choosing instead to move on and let the past be in the past, but I believe there was an issue we never fully addressed.
The concept of Retcons have always been a big pet peeve of mine, especially when the retcon is put in place simply because the content "didn't sit well" with public opinion. I am sure by now most of you already know the incident I shall be addressing, as it was clear back then just how controversial it was by its almost complete removal from our collective canon. We are still recovering from the incident, but I don't think it can be put to rest until its been properly addressed and walked through.
After the post that initiated the incident, it was clear by the actions of the other users on the forum just how intrusive they thought it to be. I am, of course, referring to that moment when we had all our characters gathered together to watch a show and another character just showed up to derail the affair with something that distracted from the performance and the character interaction. It was glossed over for the most part, people choosing instead to act as if it never happened. Particularly guilty were Gooper and M Sheep, who continued to RP in a manner that almost seemed to spite the user's contribution. Only a small lip service was paid to the event by Gooper while everyone else was content to ignore it ever happening. The character who committed the act also seemed to almost disappear from RP after that, as if they too were part of this unspoken retcon.
I am, of course, referring to that pivotal moment in Year 2: Pit's performance of Othello. At the concession stand, the character Devil Ed placed down a gold bar to pay for everyone's food, yet only Widow Maker seemed to acknowledge it at all, and even then it was dismissively hidden behind the antics of Celestia and Father Squid in badgering the concession stand for its predatory prices. Clearly, paying with the gold was an overstep on his part and limited the potential of RP during that moment, but for us all to brush it aside so callously because of this is the antithesis to RP itself. Not everything that happens is supposed to go as planned, and Devil Ed paying with the gold could have opened new opportunists for interesting RP events and character interactions.
Clearly Devil Ed came from wealth, and he could have easily paid of debts that characters later accrued. This would allow our group to participate in more expensive activities and the tough issue of collateral damage that underlines the unspoken side effects of awesome battles could be waved away. Even more interesting would have been to explore how Devil Ed got such wealth. Perhaps he was more of a Devil then he seemed, and who knows where Devil Ed had gone with that thread had we acknowledged his generous use of wealth. Instead, we chose to focus on the haggling of two separate characters. Who knows what they would be like had they instead follow Ed's plot thread instead of making one of their own? I suspect RP itself might look entirely different if we had gone forward with allowing Ed to pay for our snacks at the theater.
Now, you have listened to my main rant, but an even larger retcon lies underneath it all. The whole affair of paying for snacks was manufactured in direct confrontation with the events the GM (Steel Komodo) described!
"Snacks are freely available as the ushers come round with them"
This was explicitly stated right before the intermission where this disorganized mess of continuity occurred. Although I am not privy to the minds of my fellow RPers, the post was short and succinct, with one of the only pieces of information presented being the gratis nature of the concessions. This WHOLE AFFAIR never had to happen, and it instead weaved a twisted mess of continuity that we are still trying to sort out.
I am sorry if bringing this up has angered anyone. I know it was a sore spot for many of us, and even after trying to sort it out, I believe I might have only made it worse. How can we marry these three threads together into one consistent event in our history? How can we do so without hurting the world-building of Steel Komodo or the character development of Ed, Celestia, and Father Squid? There are no easy answers, but hopefully by reopening this old wound, I can inspire some serious discussions between us where we can finally find out the truth behind what happened between acts of Pit's performance of Othello.
The concept of Retcons have always been a big pet peeve of mine, especially when the retcon is put in place simply because the content "didn't sit well" with public opinion. I am sure by now most of you already know the incident I shall be addressing, as it was clear back then just how controversial it was by its almost complete removal from our collective canon. We are still recovering from the incident, but I don't think it can be put to rest until its been properly addressed and walked through.
After the post that initiated the incident, it was clear by the actions of the other users on the forum just how intrusive they thought it to be. I am, of course, referring to that moment when we had all our characters gathered together to watch a show and another character just showed up to derail the affair with something that distracted from the performance and the character interaction. It was glossed over for the most part, people choosing instead to act as if it never happened. Particularly guilty were Gooper and M Sheep, who continued to RP in a manner that almost seemed to spite the user's contribution. Only a small lip service was paid to the event by Gooper while everyone else was content to ignore it ever happening. The character who committed the act also seemed to almost disappear from RP after that, as if they too were part of this unspoken retcon.
I am, of course, referring to that pivotal moment in Year 2: Pit's performance of Othello. At the concession stand, the character Devil Ed placed down a gold bar to pay for everyone's food, yet only Widow Maker seemed to acknowledge it at all, and even then it was dismissively hidden behind the antics of Celestia and Father Squid in badgering the concession stand for its predatory prices. Clearly, paying with the gold was an overstep on his part and limited the potential of RP during that moment, but for us all to brush it aside so callously because of this is the antithesis to RP itself. Not everything that happens is supposed to go as planned, and Devil Ed paying with the gold could have opened new opportunists for interesting RP events and character interactions.
Clearly Devil Ed came from wealth, and he could have easily paid of debts that characters later accrued. This would allow our group to participate in more expensive activities and the tough issue of collateral damage that underlines the unspoken side effects of awesome battles could be waved away. Even more interesting would have been to explore how Devil Ed got such wealth. Perhaps he was more of a Devil then he seemed, and who knows where Devil Ed had gone with that thread had we acknowledged his generous use of wealth. Instead, we chose to focus on the haggling of two separate characters. Who knows what they would be like had they instead follow Ed's plot thread instead of making one of their own? I suspect RP itself might look entirely different if we had gone forward with allowing Ed to pay for our snacks at the theater.
Now, you have listened to my main rant, but an even larger retcon lies underneath it all. The whole affair of paying for snacks was manufactured in direct confrontation with the events the GM (Steel Komodo) described!
"Snacks are freely available as the ushers come round with them"
This was explicitly stated right before the intermission where this disorganized mess of continuity occurred. Although I am not privy to the minds of my fellow RPers, the post was short and succinct, with one of the only pieces of information presented being the gratis nature of the concessions. This WHOLE AFFAIR never had to happen, and it instead weaved a twisted mess of continuity that we are still trying to sort out.
I am sorry if bringing this up has angered anyone. I know it was a sore spot for many of us, and even after trying to sort it out, I believe I might have only made it worse. How can we marry these three threads together into one consistent event in our history? How can we do so without hurting the world-building of Steel Komodo or the character development of Ed, Celestia, and Father Squid? There are no easy answers, but hopefully by reopening this old wound, I can inspire some serious discussions between us where we can finally find out the truth behind what happened between acts of Pit's performance of Othello.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Rejects (but not THE Reject)
ZFRP is a huge and varied place with many interesting original characters and strange but wondrous adaptations of characters from established franchises. Seeing all these characters on parade, of course, gets the mind racing, but sometimes, the mind should just be warming the benches. Character ideas have swirled around my head wildly during my three year tenure at Zoofights, but so far only a select group of ghosts and old people have managed to make it out of the starting gate. Many characters I come up with never see the light of day, mostly because I just see a character I like but either can't think of what to do with them or decide against it in the end. Here you shall see a bit of my mad character grabbing and half-formed ideas, but I do not remember them all, nor am I willing to tip my hat about characters who might appear soon or were once rejected and now have been repurposed for future possible appearances.
2012 Rejects
Johnny Steps
From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
Intended to be a mix of a Capoiera fighter and a duelist who could summon Duel Monsters (but just as holograms), Johnny Steps was intended to be a 2012 character before I decided on things like Q as a returning cast member. Johnny Steps would of course never use personal pronouns, always insisting on saying Johnny Steps, and would probably talk about dancing more than Tierno does in Pokemon X/Y. Hence, the explulsion from the FUTURE! folder, where all my ideas for future ZFRP biz fester as they wait for their day to shine.
Hakuho Sho
Real life Sumo Wrestler and Yokozuna
I had a sumo phase, okay? Like... a day long one, so it wasn't so much a phase as "look at that! neat!" Still, the idea behind Hakuho would be he came to test his might against the famous Kobbers after finding the sumo circuit too weak for him. Hakuho would have been strong as a believable human could be, and might have had a sort of crisis where he realized he couldn't keep up with these crazy kobbers. He was supposed to be my "Action" character, although my personal attempts at avoiding space-marine-strong characters often leads to me gimping a character to the point of limited usefulness.
Chocodile
From American Dad/ Chocodile brand product
Mostly it was the design I fell in love with, but I was also tempted to RP as someone as laidback and chill and a crocodile in a pimp suit. Of course, he would be easy to anger, but not in the normal way. Insulting him or his fashion would be the way to get him to go crazy croc on you, giving him some combat utility but also allowing the calm, cool, and collected aspect of his character to persist during regular bar interactions.
Rock Knight and Parrot Grass
From Cobra/ Retsupurae
During their Wrongpurae of Cobra, Slowbeef and Diabetus fell in love with these two guys, and so did I. Rock Knight would have fought with the power of rock and also be a knight, no surprise there. I could never nail down a personality for him besides something too similar to Eddie, so that's one reason he never made it. Parrot Grass would have eventually been roped in by Rock Knight in some way, probably just as something he might have brought with him. Parrot Grass would be loud and constantly repeats himself but with different words. Squish Wheatley and Mojo Jojo together and give him Iago's voice and you get the idea. Just like in the game, at some point Parrot Grass would be replaced with a fake that would transform into a monster and serve as a small battle for the bargoers. Rejected because I could never nail down a personality that fit Rock Knight and Parrot Grass was just a tag along for that character.
Beetleborgs
From... Beetleborgs
The Beetleborgs were not going to be protagonists. They would attack the bar, and at some point during the fight, one would drop their suit and reveal they were actually kids. They would also have been just as intolerable as they were in the T.V. show. The Beetleborgs would have kicked off the Bill Clinton plot I had mucking around in my head, which was somewhat initiated with Sailor on Oprah but never went anywhere because it seemed intrusive. Basically, there would have been a president-ordered hit on the bar, or at least a quarantine of sorts. The Beetleborgs, trying to be heroes, would try to stop those evil Kobbers, even though we're good yadda yadda yadda you know the deal.
2013 Rejects... excluding Reject himself
The Black Baron
From Madworld
Somewhat alluded to during the BBB3, the Black Baron was one of the two people considered to host Fite Yer' Mates after JRM's inevitable death in the brawl. Dr. Satan ended up getting the position because of the potential for a plot, but the Black Baron was somewhat skipped over because of my somewhat uneasiness with accusations towards the character being racist. He was fun on a bun in Madworld, and his over the top personality would have definitely been appropriate for my arena, but I went with the safer route and took a character from a movie with rampant nudity and sophomoric humor instead. Although not likely, maybe some day Black Baron may end up hosting Fite Yer' Mates, but that would probably involve the retirement of JRM himself.
Zuizen and Keiun
From G Gundam
Originally considered as additional Orvance characters before Kalisha (who was originally going to be a generic old lady in a black robe who through weaponized diseases before I realized such attack methods would be prohibitive to tractor based battles), these two monks would be trying to spread the Shaolin temple and its ways to help it be restored. Despite being old men, their martial arts prowess would be exceptional, and they would have likely used daggers if they ever considered weapons necessary. It would have eventually come to light that they were not native to Porphyrion, but off-worlders from the G Gundam version of Earth trying to spread the Shaolin temple throughout the stars. Sai Saici might have eventually made an appearance in his Dragon Gundam, but it would have been like James Bond was to Q.
Merasmus
From Team Fortress 2
Halloween was coming soon, and I wanted a character for the holiday. I eventually settled on bringing back Phantomon, but I had two ideas for characters I was going to bring in before settling for the Digimon. Merasmus was one of them. He would have pestered the people of the Drunken Gryphon in an attempt to both revive the dying Orvance topic as well as give us a little halloween fun by having a new spell every few days during October. For example, BIG HEADS! The spells from the TF2 event would have pretty much been the ones used, as well as some of the ones that were found in the files but not actually used in game. But don't worry, there would have never been a Jarate day. He would have been mostly harmless, and gone away after Halloween in a huff if he hadn't been kicked out sooner.
Smoke
From Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue
The second considered character for Halloween would have been a villain. Smoke would have set up the Hot Drugs Stand in the ZFS and start pestering people with known past addictions or present bad habits and try to get them to relapse. People like Dirk and Jonesy would have likely been targeted do to their past with drugs, and Ignazio would have been heckled for his cigars, and maybe even everyone would get bothered about booze or the Snaptures of old. I figured such a targeted approach to a villain might be either annoying or require planning with the person who owned the character, and I had no real idea of how Smoke could end up being defeated, or if he could, because of some poignant message on how you can never really shake the urge to relapse or something dumb like that.
The Winter Warlock
From Santa Claus is Coming to Town
When I though we were gonna do a 2013 Christmas in the same vein as our 2011 Christmas, I had the Winter Warlock planned in pretty much the same vein as Merasmus. The Winter Warlock would hate the Space People and their Star Festival, and try to ruin their Christmas festivities by creating snow and freezing lakes. However, instead of harmful snow storms, he would accidentally make a winter wonderland with activities for the bargoers to participate in. However, since we didn't have a Christmas celebration, the Winter Warlock was going to be repurposed into a bit character into my version of the Christmas Carol. When Christmas came and I realized I didn't have time to finish the story, I scrapped the whole thing and so with it the Winter Warlock as well.
2014 Rejects
Characters I was considering but I am no longer.
Ivan the Space Biker
From Early Builds of Half Life
He would have been a space biker. Named Ivan.
Doggy
From Toons These Days
A disillusioned cartoon character who hates the modern day shows, Doggy would have been a confrontational character and quick to lampoon any RP character from a recent cartoon or be chummy with someone from an old one. He would have, no doubt, have something to say about them My Little Ponies. Doggy was scrapped due to perceived uselessness and his adversarial nature, which is a personality that I do not enjoy RPing much. Besides, Tallish already chews out everyone, so I didn't need a character who was the same but a black and white dog.
Bely Mishka, Yoggl, Schuss, and Schneemann
Olympic Mascots
Izzy is slated to return eventually with the Fite Olympics, and once I planned out the possible events in my head, I wanted each one to have a host. Izzy would have hosted one, but since 2014 is the winter olympics, he wanted to prove his olympics better, and he needed some help. Schneemann, a real old olympic mascot, Schuss, an unofficial one but technically the first one, Yoggl, a mascot, but only for the Youth Olympics, were all willing to help. Bely, on the other hand, is slated to be a mascot for the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, so Izzy would have kidnapped him and forced him to host an event to try and get more attention for the New Better Olympics. Bely would have hosted his event with a defeated tone, asking for someone to save him but not in a desperate way. Yoggl, who wants to prove himself to be worthy of being a real olympic mascot, would be a bit overeager and have a bit of stage fright. Schuss, being unofficial in every way, would have long since gone crazy, and would pepper his lines with twitching and laughter. Nothing evil though. Schneemann would have sounded German. This idea was abandoned because it seemed like I was overcomplicating what should be a straight-forward event, and when ideas for 2014 characters came up, Izzy returning seemed less like the event I planned it to be and more like a necessity for the Olympics to actually go down.
2015 Rejects
Juan Carlos Rivera
Original Character
One of the few original characters I've come up with that I have completely rejected thus far without either keeping them in reserve or repurposing them. Juan Carlos is a Gila Monster cowboy whose morals would be loose and often contradictory to the bar's usual mentality. While most people gave the Society at least the chance to talk, the moment one walked into the bar Juan Carlos would have just shot them. He was mostly rejected because Harpy ended up naming two of her characters after the two parts of his first name, but also because it seems like our 2015 theme will be less Wild West than I thought.
Billy Bob Joe Hansen Carlsbad Elegant James William Tonner Smith Junior the Third
and Wilford Drake
Original Characters
The prospector with an overly long name and the donkey with a surprisingly sophisticated one were also scrapped due to the setting seeming less Wild West than I thought. Billy Bob would appear to be an insane and rather cliche prospector and Wilford a regular pack mule, but neither character is as they seem. Billy Bob was once a scientist who discovered a rare element after receiving a call from a digging site. Accompanied by a then humanoid and well-respected author Wilford Drake, the two were working together on writing up a paper on the discovery when the element's true nature became apparent. Billy Bob (whose name was originally just William Tonner the Third) went insane from the radiation and believed himself to be a prospector since the mining site was indeed filled with them. Wilford didn't go insane, but instead found his mind forced into one of the miner's pack mules. Still able to speak and incredibly refined, Wilford leads Billy Bob around to try and find a way to reverse the radiation's effects, but the radiation also had another side effect. Whenever Billy Bob sleeps or faints, his body shifts into an eldritch creature from the dimension the element originated from. The creautres would not be hideous masses of tentacles so much as absurd and illogical creatures. Wilford would be the voice of reason, with Billy Bob mostly shouting nonsense. The need for new creatures every time it happened + shifting setting ideas + characters who might not blend well with the bar anyway= rejected characters.
Rejected Big Bar Brawl Mystery Fiters
Although the first Mystery Fiter was always intended to be Mac Tonight, the later ones had a few rejects as well. I can't remember all of them, and again some may be used in the future, but here are two who didn't make the cut.
Poochie
From The Simpsons
I've mentioned it before, but for the BBB2, I was having second thoughts about the Monstars. They were pretty much planned from the moment it was apparent year 2 would probably be the 90s, but Chet's Space Jam reference-filled blog posts got me nervous the Monstars might make an early appearance before the Brawl. I also worried that people might not recognize the Monstars, although if you just said "the aliens from Space Jam" most people would at least imagine the right characters. Poochie was the back up plan, and similar to how Mac Tonight was useless, Poochie would have probably contributed little as well. Sadly, Poochie died on his way over to the arena from his home planet.
Mr. Clean
From the Mr. Clean line of products
Somewhat considered for future brawls, Mr. Clean seemed to have the oddity factor, but little in the way of fighting besides being buff. I considered him using cleaning products as weapons, but as I was watching Venture Bros, a character named The Cleaner appeared and did pretty much that. The Cleaner was rolled into my idea for the OSI plot, and Mr. Clean was subsequently scrapped for being too similar.
Although these two aren't the only one's to have not been scrapped, many never made it out of the "wouldn't it be cool" phase or are still up for consideration for the future. Also, the B-Rex was not the only Zoofighter considered for BBB3, but most of them were skimmed over rather quickly before settling on the T-Rex.
Now, THAT'S all the guys I can remember ever considering RPing. Like I said, some I've forgotten, some have been repurposed for the future, and some I just cant bring myself to reject. Most OCs still might make an appearance somewhere down the road, even ones I cooked up in 2011 might have a future. Whatever the future may hold though, expect to not see these guys in it.
2012 Rejects
From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
Intended to be a mix of a Capoiera fighter and a duelist who could summon Duel Monsters (but just as holograms), Johnny Steps was intended to be a 2012 character before I decided on things like Q as a returning cast member. Johnny Steps would of course never use personal pronouns, always insisting on saying Johnny Steps, and would probably talk about dancing more than Tierno does in Pokemon X/Y. Hence, the explulsion from the FUTURE! folder, where all my ideas for future ZFRP biz fester as they wait for their day to shine.
Real life Sumo Wrestler and Yokozuna
I had a sumo phase, okay? Like... a day long one, so it wasn't so much a phase as "look at that! neat!" Still, the idea behind Hakuho would be he came to test his might against the famous Kobbers after finding the sumo circuit too weak for him. Hakuho would have been strong as a believable human could be, and might have had a sort of crisis where he realized he couldn't keep up with these crazy kobbers. He was supposed to be my "Action" character, although my personal attempts at avoiding space-marine-strong characters often leads to me gimping a character to the point of limited usefulness.
From American Dad/ Chocodile brand product
Mostly it was the design I fell in love with, but I was also tempted to RP as someone as laidback and chill and a crocodile in a pimp suit. Of course, he would be easy to anger, but not in the normal way. Insulting him or his fashion would be the way to get him to go crazy croc on you, giving him some combat utility but also allowing the calm, cool, and collected aspect of his character to persist during regular bar interactions.
From Cobra/ Retsupurae
During their Wrongpurae of Cobra, Slowbeef and Diabetus fell in love with these two guys, and so did I. Rock Knight would have fought with the power of rock and also be a knight, no surprise there. I could never nail down a personality for him besides something too similar to Eddie, so that's one reason he never made it. Parrot Grass would have eventually been roped in by Rock Knight in some way, probably just as something he might have brought with him. Parrot Grass would be loud and constantly repeats himself but with different words. Squish Wheatley and Mojo Jojo together and give him Iago's voice and you get the idea. Just like in the game, at some point Parrot Grass would be replaced with a fake that would transform into a monster and serve as a small battle for the bargoers. Rejected because I could never nail down a personality that fit Rock Knight and Parrot Grass was just a tag along for that character.
From... Beetleborgs
The Beetleborgs were not going to be protagonists. They would attack the bar, and at some point during the fight, one would drop their suit and reveal they were actually kids. They would also have been just as intolerable as they were in the T.V. show. The Beetleborgs would have kicked off the Bill Clinton plot I had mucking around in my head, which was somewhat initiated with Sailor on Oprah but never went anywhere because it seemed intrusive. Basically, there would have been a president-ordered hit on the bar, or at least a quarantine of sorts. The Beetleborgs, trying to be heroes, would try to stop those evil Kobbers, even though we're good yadda yadda yadda you know the deal.
2013 Rejects... excluding Reject himself
From Madworld
Somewhat alluded to during the BBB3, the Black Baron was one of the two people considered to host Fite Yer' Mates after JRM's inevitable death in the brawl. Dr. Satan ended up getting the position because of the potential for a plot, but the Black Baron was somewhat skipped over because of my somewhat uneasiness with accusations towards the character being racist. He was fun on a bun in Madworld, and his over the top personality would have definitely been appropriate for my arena, but I went with the safer route and took a character from a movie with rampant nudity and sophomoric humor instead. Although not likely, maybe some day Black Baron may end up hosting Fite Yer' Mates, but that would probably involve the retirement of JRM himself.
From G Gundam
Originally considered as additional Orvance characters before Kalisha (who was originally going to be a generic old lady in a black robe who through weaponized diseases before I realized such attack methods would be prohibitive to tractor based battles), these two monks would be trying to spread the Shaolin temple and its ways to help it be restored. Despite being old men, their martial arts prowess would be exceptional, and they would have likely used daggers if they ever considered weapons necessary. It would have eventually come to light that they were not native to Porphyrion, but off-worlders from the G Gundam version of Earth trying to spread the Shaolin temple throughout the stars. Sai Saici might have eventually made an appearance in his Dragon Gundam, but it would have been like James Bond was to Q.
From Team Fortress 2
Halloween was coming soon, and I wanted a character for the holiday. I eventually settled on bringing back Phantomon, but I had two ideas for characters I was going to bring in before settling for the Digimon. Merasmus was one of them. He would have pestered the people of the Drunken Gryphon in an attempt to both revive the dying Orvance topic as well as give us a little halloween fun by having a new spell every few days during October. For example, BIG HEADS! The spells from the TF2 event would have pretty much been the ones used, as well as some of the ones that were found in the files but not actually used in game. But don't worry, there would have never been a Jarate day. He would have been mostly harmless, and gone away after Halloween in a huff if he hadn't been kicked out sooner.
From Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue
The second considered character for Halloween would have been a villain. Smoke would have set up the Hot Drugs Stand in the ZFS and start pestering people with known past addictions or present bad habits and try to get them to relapse. People like Dirk and Jonesy would have likely been targeted do to their past with drugs, and Ignazio would have been heckled for his cigars, and maybe even everyone would get bothered about booze or the Snaptures of old. I figured such a targeted approach to a villain might be either annoying or require planning with the person who owned the character, and I had no real idea of how Smoke could end up being defeated, or if he could, because of some poignant message on how you can never really shake the urge to relapse or something dumb like that.
From Santa Claus is Coming to Town
When I though we were gonna do a 2013 Christmas in the same vein as our 2011 Christmas, I had the Winter Warlock planned in pretty much the same vein as Merasmus. The Winter Warlock would hate the Space People and their Star Festival, and try to ruin their Christmas festivities by creating snow and freezing lakes. However, instead of harmful snow storms, he would accidentally make a winter wonderland with activities for the bargoers to participate in. However, since we didn't have a Christmas celebration, the Winter Warlock was going to be repurposed into a bit character into my version of the Christmas Carol. When Christmas came and I realized I didn't have time to finish the story, I scrapped the whole thing and so with it the Winter Warlock as well.
2014 Rejects
Characters I was considering but I am no longer.
Ivan the Space Biker
From Early Builds of Half Life
He would have been a space biker. Named Ivan.
From Toons These Days
A disillusioned cartoon character who hates the modern day shows, Doggy would have been a confrontational character and quick to lampoon any RP character from a recent cartoon or be chummy with someone from an old one. He would have, no doubt, have something to say about them My Little Ponies. Doggy was scrapped due to perceived uselessness and his adversarial nature, which is a personality that I do not enjoy RPing much. Besides, Tallish already chews out everyone, so I didn't need a character who was the same but a black and white dog.
Bely Mishka, Yoggl, Schuss, and Schneemann
Olympic Mascots
Izzy is slated to return eventually with the Fite Olympics, and once I planned out the possible events in my head, I wanted each one to have a host. Izzy would have hosted one, but since 2014 is the winter olympics, he wanted to prove his olympics better, and he needed some help. Schneemann, a real old olympic mascot, Schuss, an unofficial one but technically the first one, Yoggl, a mascot, but only for the Youth Olympics, were all willing to help. Bely, on the other hand, is slated to be a mascot for the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, so Izzy would have kidnapped him and forced him to host an event to try and get more attention for the New Better Olympics. Bely would have hosted his event with a defeated tone, asking for someone to save him but not in a desperate way. Yoggl, who wants to prove himself to be worthy of being a real olympic mascot, would be a bit overeager and have a bit of stage fright. Schuss, being unofficial in every way, would have long since gone crazy, and would pepper his lines with twitching and laughter. Nothing evil though. Schneemann would have sounded German. This idea was abandoned because it seemed like I was overcomplicating what should be a straight-forward event, and when ideas for 2014 characters came up, Izzy returning seemed less like the event I planned it to be and more like a necessity for the Olympics to actually go down.
2015 Rejects
Original Character
One of the few original characters I've come up with that I have completely rejected thus far without either keeping them in reserve or repurposing them. Juan Carlos is a Gila Monster cowboy whose morals would be loose and often contradictory to the bar's usual mentality. While most people gave the Society at least the chance to talk, the moment one walked into the bar Juan Carlos would have just shot them. He was mostly rejected because Harpy ended up naming two of her characters after the two parts of his first name, but also because it seems like our 2015 theme will be less Wild West than I thought.
and Wilford Drake
Original Characters
The prospector with an overly long name and the donkey with a surprisingly sophisticated one were also scrapped due to the setting seeming less Wild West than I thought. Billy Bob would appear to be an insane and rather cliche prospector and Wilford a regular pack mule, but neither character is as they seem. Billy Bob was once a scientist who discovered a rare element after receiving a call from a digging site. Accompanied by a then humanoid and well-respected author Wilford Drake, the two were working together on writing up a paper on the discovery when the element's true nature became apparent. Billy Bob (whose name was originally just William Tonner the Third) went insane from the radiation and believed himself to be a prospector since the mining site was indeed filled with them. Wilford didn't go insane, but instead found his mind forced into one of the miner's pack mules. Still able to speak and incredibly refined, Wilford leads Billy Bob around to try and find a way to reverse the radiation's effects, but the radiation also had another side effect. Whenever Billy Bob sleeps or faints, his body shifts into an eldritch creature from the dimension the element originated from. The creautres would not be hideous masses of tentacles so much as absurd and illogical creatures. Wilford would be the voice of reason, with Billy Bob mostly shouting nonsense. The need for new creatures every time it happened + shifting setting ideas + characters who might not blend well with the bar anyway= rejected characters.
Rejected Big Bar Brawl Mystery Fiters
Although the first Mystery Fiter was always intended to be Mac Tonight, the later ones had a few rejects as well. I can't remember all of them, and again some may be used in the future, but here are two who didn't make the cut.
From The Simpsons
I've mentioned it before, but for the BBB2, I was having second thoughts about the Monstars. They were pretty much planned from the moment it was apparent year 2 would probably be the 90s, but Chet's Space Jam reference-filled blog posts got me nervous the Monstars might make an early appearance before the Brawl. I also worried that people might not recognize the Monstars, although if you just said "the aliens from Space Jam" most people would at least imagine the right characters. Poochie was the back up plan, and similar to how Mac Tonight was useless, Poochie would have probably contributed little as well. Sadly, Poochie died on his way over to the arena from his home planet.
From the Mr. Clean line of products
Somewhat considered for future brawls, Mr. Clean seemed to have the oddity factor, but little in the way of fighting besides being buff. I considered him using cleaning products as weapons, but as I was watching Venture Bros, a character named The Cleaner appeared and did pretty much that. The Cleaner was rolled into my idea for the OSI plot, and Mr. Clean was subsequently scrapped for being too similar.
Although these two aren't the only one's to have not been scrapped, many never made it out of the "wouldn't it be cool" phase or are still up for consideration for the future. Also, the B-Rex was not the only Zoofighter considered for BBB3, but most of them were skimmed over rather quickly before settling on the T-Rex.
Now, THAT'S all the guys I can remember ever considering RPing. Like I said, some I've forgotten, some have been repurposed for the future, and some I just cant bring myself to reject. Most OCs still might make an appearance somewhere down the road, even ones I cooked up in 2011 might have a future. Whatever the future may hold though, expect to not see these guys in it.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Fite Yer' Mates Card Game
That's right folks! Your old pal Jumpropeman here with yet another card game based around ZFRP and the crazy characters it brings together! The old King of Beasts card game was plagued with problems. Over-reliance on luck, pressure to have the maximum number of players, awkward rules, and busy cards all made the first card game hard to play, but this new one seeks to avoid all that!
The Fite Yer' Mates card game is a fun one-on-one experience based around games such as the Pokemon TCG, Hearthstone, Magic:The Gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh! Rather that bore people with resource management, this card game goes for a much simpler method of a set amounts of actions that can be taken per turn. For more detailed rules, just click the link here:
Fite Yer' Mates Card Game Rules
If you took the time to read it, you will see its rather simple. Kill the opponent before they kill you, using whatever cards you got at your disposal! What might those cards be? Well I've arranged them into 7 pre-made decks for ease of access! The decks were assembled with some thought at synchronization, but only testing will show what cards really work together well! There are 300 cards, 235 of them being fiters, and 65 of them being Effects. I also created reference "cards" for the Bartenders and some Theoretical fiters that are created by certain characters' attacks. Although they aren't actually found in decks, its good to have visual references!
Any, without further ado, here are the cards, arranged into groups based on the pre-made decks!
Sheryl (Robot Deck)
Alex the Gundam Beatbox Browny Carol Construct 8 Friend Computer Hater Hephaestus Hypotenuse Jack James Jewel Man Mega Man Oceanus Optimus Prime Owltomaton Refbot Reject ROB Roomba Shana Skeiron Starscream Wheatley Waspinator Ulrika X Demolition Yahoo Bot Zephyrus Faith IronicHide Rizzrack Dr. Bulgrave Power Surge Regeneration Core Star Festival Super Charge CP Stunner Virtual Reality Earth Crystal
Tallish (Magic User Deck)
Carla Celestia Claxxon Crunk Wizard Dirk Garnet Gloria Helios Lennard Hubert Jeremiah Josephine Kalisha Lucky Pozzo Marisa Monk the Druid Rain Sarah Shroud Siren Sonia Sophia Stella Tak-Sin Utsuho Victor Harg Edyth Ricard Scorpion Briar Glacius Divine Blessing Elixirs Mana Storm Synchronized Spell Romance Plot Black Legend Wind Crystal
Barbon (Physical Fiter Deck)
Aiden Thane Alexander Triden Alocyn Artemis Clint Conehead Brigade Constantine XI Eddie Electra Erebus Grutz Ilsaria Krieg Ksar Leonardo Lightwing Kusamochi Major Failure Nepeta Nightwolf Baltan Beheeyem Gust Dr. G. Nerique Fumes Chester Mac Tonight Blake Caden Burton Cummings Captain Haddock Kirby Cliff Clavin Theodore Rex Whitey Battle Rage Temper Unremarkable Big Bar Brawl RIOT!! Rally for Reality
Stormtrooper B (Weapon User Deck)
Ariel Chet David Delmond Doktor Hanz Father Squid Flu Harry Herzog Santos
Tapogre Spam
Carlos (Superhuman Deck)
Fire Crystal
Walter (Unnatural Deck)
Aevar Bastardsaurus Rex Bill Deadhead Designate_5 Devil Ed Doomrider Dr. Satan
Reincarnation Wave Bimp
Loose Cards
Zoofight The Flaw Silence Outgunned Holyga EMP Beatdown Sifter
Theoretical Cards
Painted Warrior (Mikey)
Robot Minion (Shana)
MOCK-R-REE (Friend Computer)
Stormtrooper (Stormtrooper B)
Matthew (Clint)
Hannah (Clint)
Wukong Clone (Wukong)
The Fite Yer' Mates card game is a fun one-on-one experience based around games such as the Pokemon TCG, Hearthstone, Magic:The Gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh! Rather that bore people with resource management, this card game goes for a much simpler method of a set amounts of actions that can be taken per turn. For more detailed rules, just click the link here:
Fite Yer' Mates Card Game Rules
If you took the time to read it, you will see its rather simple. Kill the opponent before they kill you, using whatever cards you got at your disposal! What might those cards be? Well I've arranged them into 7 pre-made decks for ease of access! The decks were assembled with some thought at synchronization, but only testing will show what cards really work together well! There are 300 cards, 235 of them being fiters, and 65 of them being Effects. I also created reference "cards" for the Bartenders and some Theoretical fiters that are created by certain characters' attacks. Although they aren't actually found in decks, its good to have visual references!
Any, without further ado, here are the cards, arranged into groups based on the pre-made decks!
Sheryl (Robot Deck)
Alex the Gundam Beatbox Browny Carol Construct 8 Friend Computer Hater Hephaestus Hypotenuse Jack James Jewel Man Mega Man Oceanus Optimus Prime Owltomaton Refbot Reject ROB Roomba Shana Skeiron Starscream Wheatley Waspinator Ulrika X Demolition Yahoo Bot Zephyrus Faith IronicHide Rizzrack Dr. Bulgrave Power Surge Regeneration Core Star Festival Super Charge CP Stunner Virtual Reality Earth Crystal
Tallish (Magic User Deck)
Carla Celestia Claxxon Crunk Wizard Dirk Garnet Gloria Helios Lennard Hubert Jeremiah Josephine Kalisha Lucky Pozzo Marisa Monk the Druid Rain Sarah Shroud Siren Sonia Sophia Stella Tak-Sin Utsuho Victor Harg Edyth Ricard Scorpion Briar Glacius Divine Blessing Elixirs Mana Storm Synchronized Spell Romance Plot Black Legend Wind Crystal
Barbon (Physical Fiter Deck)
Aiden Thane Alexander Triden Alocyn Artemis Clint Conehead Brigade Constantine XI Eddie Electra Erebus Grutz Ilsaria Krieg Ksar Leonardo Lightwing Kusamochi Major Failure Nepeta Nightwolf Baltan Beheeyem Gust Dr. G. Nerique Fumes Chester Mac Tonight Blake Caden Burton Cummings Captain Haddock Kirby Cliff Clavin Theodore Rex Whitey Battle Rage Temper Unremarkable Big Bar Brawl RIOT!! Rally for Reality
Stormtrooper B (Weapon User Deck)
Ariel Chet David Delmond Doktor Hanz Father Squid Flu Harry Herzog Santos
Randy Avalon General Cleft Clippy Hugh London Kauket Osmium Storm Bolters Weapons Cache Laser Tag Feldspar Queen Betting Corner Bad Press
Gezora (Animal Deck)
Carlos (Superhuman Deck)
Walter (Unnatural Deck)
Aevar Bastardsaurus Rex Bill Deadhead Designate_5 Devil Ed Doomrider Dr. Satan
Reincarnation Wave Bimp
Loose Cards
Zoofight The Flaw Silence Outgunned Holyga EMP Beatdown Sifter
Painted Warrior (Mikey)
Robot Minion (Shana)
MOCK-R-REE (Friend Computer)
Stormtrooper (Stormtrooper B)
Matthew (Clint)
Hannah (Clint)
Wukong Clone (Wukong)
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